Posts Tagged 'love'

192. Desire

Yes/no together

Yes/no together

I have been doing a series of drawings about desire. It just came up and I let it be.

Here is one more painting about desire. But desire is becoming more and more beautiful. And here I am starting to know about the way of coming out of addictions, if this is what you want to do. It is through the discovery of the beauty in it. The seeing that it is absolutely beautiful and as good as anything else, so it loses the allure of the rebellion and stays as one possibility out of the infinite number of them.

And then, once it is not a rebellion any more, you choose by your bigger intention or any other consideration, like playfulness, love etc. When your choice starts to be from this love, curiosity, care, playfulness, which are the makeup of who we are, you are OK.

So I am thinking about the people who will look at this drawing/painting, and they may not know on their own that this is about desire. What to do for them?

The first is to say so and they may believe me. Why not?

Then I’d say: Look at how the green and the orange play with each other. They are not completely harmonious or in agreement. There is intensity in each of them but they oppose each other. They push each other away. But they are playing together here, aren’t they?

And this is typical about desire. There is a mixture of wanting and not wanting, a hunger and a chase, a yes/no, yes/no, which fuels the desire. (A yes/no is the energetic source of everything in our world. Maybe I should write about it in the future?) It is a very strange thing indeed, of a suffering and a satisfaction together at the same time. A want more, want more, must have more, which I don’t yet have, which motivates the chase and the pursuit and the activity.

Then look at the ochre, which is a softer version of both the orange and the green. It somehow connects them and softens everything with a sense of being a human being, a friend, a collaborator.

Then look at the brown, which is like the secretive fertile source.

Look at the shapes of the lines all over the painting, which are softly sensual, touching everywhere, almost tickling. And the whole is a like a strange flower that grew by the rules of yes/no on its own from this mud of existence, which is nothing else but the energy of the universe, colored by us as dark, sensual, lack/fulfillment experience.

Has it become clearer?

So, again, I am discovering the infinite richness of what is considered by some as not so good, has to happen but the less the better, etc.

Looking at this and finding that it is nothing but one more of the infinite appearances of the all that is, takes the judgment out from it. With no judgment, you free yourself from the attachment to it, and like everything else it becomes the face of infinity.

191. Dont worry, go with the energy

This is who we are

This is who we are

I am moved

Because it is beautiful for me

Meaning, Something from home

Love coming through

There is an external story

Of shapes doing

Like, maybe, a tree grows on a rock

Maybe it is turning into a monster

Doing strange things

But inside

In a one two three rhythm

We go from total darkness

To the blue sky

Or a lake

It is ancient

It has always been here

And we have been looking

The outside has muscles

The inside is a whispering light

Of love

This is how we are

And this is how everything comes to us

To see the dark of night

And the blue of the sky

This is how we are.

 

 

Author’s note:

 

Words float on energy

Like colorful mosaic stones

On the concrete

Of a wall

The wall holds everything

The concrete flows from floor to ceiling

The stones don’t have to hold the wall

That’s the way I write

Spontaneously

The words

Float in energy

The energy connects all

The words don’t have

To do the same job

That’s why

My text is skipping

Don’t worry

Go with the energy.

182. Father came to visit in a dream

For some time, faces wanted to come into my abstract drawings. It took me some time to let them in. They were persistent.

Someone appears

Someone appears

An eye and a nose

An eye and a nose

Almost a face

Almost a face

A face

A face

Late at night, which is already the next day’s morning, on 4/2/14 I came to my table to write:

I see now and admire the child, the little child, furious and angry, and taking upon himself to punish himself forever for his belief that he killed his father. He came to my drawings too.

 

The furious child

The furious child

I love him so much and admire him for his undertaking. If I had to choose the child that I could be, this is the one I would choose.

But he is punishing me now.

And even now, when I am almost 70, I am not sure yet: Have I killed my father?

I feel the child’s presence in me or in the same space that I occupy, being some form of energy like me. I am him and he is me.

How do I solve this?

My father came to me this night in a dream, very close. I felt his unshaved beard on my cheek, maybe as I did experience in my childhood. He came to show me that he loves me.  I know he does not carry anger from that time. I met him before.

I wake up and come to my studio to write.

Father, did I kill you as a child? Did you die because I thought that I wanted you to die?

No kid. I died because I had it in my own mind that I would die. You cannot kill anybody really. Every one of us determines his own life experiences.

But I wanted you to die so that I’d have Mom for myself. And indeed you died. So from my perspective I killed you.

You are not real, Giora. “You” is an illusion. All the stories that you create are illusions. No one can ever die in truth, because he does not really exist. So it is like a movie, where one actor shoots another actor and nothing happens except for the illusion that it did.

Do I have to be angry at myself? Do I have to punish myself?

No. You are god playing. And what a story you have created! Your pain is an illusion too. In truth, nothing can ever happen to you. So you had created this horrific story. Now you know it is not real. And you know that you are pure love, still playing in this illusion of life on earth. You can choose differently. You can choose to live happily and healthily. You can change the whole story from its beginning to its end. It is like one of your children’s books. You are in control. Change the story. Make it so that your father lived for many years after the war. Make it so that you have lived with a father who loved you every day. Make it so that you are still loving and laughing together about all the stories that you participated in together. It is my deeper aspect who is talking now.

Look at the whole universe that you have created and keep creating all the time. You can change a little detail in this huge thing. You can understand that it was just a choice of the plot line.

But if it is only a story and not real, why would I want to change it?

For the same reason that you keep changing your story all the time. To make it feel better. To experience other experiences in this illusion game. Don’t you want to see how it is to live without that guilt, without withholding love?

It is up to you of course. But we (My deeper aspect talks as “we” sometimes) want you to feel better, so that you will create better places and lives. Your character does not need to suffer at all.

This child that you were in your story was indeed admirable. You can love him still. And you can give him a better life. Let him learn how to be healthy, how to live without guilt and self-punishment. Let him soar.

179. Can’t describe (For Anita’s birthday)

 

Nature is crazy about you

Nature is crazy about you

The natural world is crazy about you

Your energy responds

By getting warm in places

The wooden deck is growing suns

And acting like a down quilt

I can’t describe in words

How nature loves

Forget the words

And you will know.

177. The bird is infinite

She wants to fly up and up and far

She wants to fly up and up ad far

 

The bird is infinite

 

She wants to fly up and up and far

But tears attach her to the sea of sorrow

Her ideas limit her

The rock of pain

Threaten to block her

 

The sea is wide

The angels watch and cannot interfere

Their heart cries out

Come, come, sweet bird

You can

 

And what’s the source of power?

It’s in the knowing

That her mind

navigates

Her thinking

Moves her

 

Think flying on

Think delighting in the life on earth

Think love given and received

 

And if one day

All your ideas will cease

Where will you find yourself?

Sweet bird

Where will you be?

 

And aren’t you already there

Right now?

176. Moving fingers and toes

Microbes

Microbes

In the middle is a package

With a secret

Of unknown consequences

All other things in this picture could be microbes

With a very elaborate social order

And rules of conduct

But in spite of that

They cannot contain their joy

For just being able to move their fingers

And toes

And they keep doing it

Secretly

But since all of them are doing it

They discover each other

In new ways

And through their joyous smiles

Become one

With no beginning

And end

Enfolding endless possibilities

Of love.

172. Change

 

The old habits are transparent

The old habits are transparent

Light takes the place of flesh

And we see

A light being

Love

Has made the change

 

The old body is bent

The old features slowly move

The habits

Have become

Transparent

 

An inside change

Is taking place

A new program is installed

The old stone foundation

Is fading out.

169. An inner conflict

An inner conflict

An inner conflict

Obviously there is in this drawing something that grows. And also there is a relationship. The relationship is between two groups. The green and brown is one group and the yellow and ochre is the second group.

The yellow and the ochre are free from attachment to the ground. They are transparent and interpenetrating with everything else. They are light and there is a feeling about them of playfulness and curiosity.

It seems there is love between the two groups, a lot of love.

But it also seems that the green/brown group has some inner conflict.

The brown is stiffened. It almost does not have any flexibility. The green is very flexible, soft and responsive. Both of them, the green and the brown are attached to the ground.

While the brown is stiff and cannot move, the green is extending its arms to the right side, to embrace the yellow and ochre group, but at the same time it leans backward to the left. So you can see the inner conflict. And it is funny, you see? With such loving creatures coming to you with playfulness and joy, what is there to shrink from?

I am not going to go into more detail. It is up to you now, if you want to expand on this, for your own delight.

165. I don’t have words for this

 

Momentary shape

Momentary shape

I don’t have words for this

As it happens lately

Things are beautiful and transparent

The essential wellbeing

Doesn’t take these structures seriously

All are landscapes of the mind

And joy to play with

It does not matter what they do

I’m here

I’m love

All is good.

162. His eternal joy

 

The ongoing creation of the world

The ongoing creation of the world

Today is the birthday of Giora

And even though he was never born

He is saying thanks

For this amazing event

That led to the ongoing creation

Of his world

Which is beautiful beyond description

And led to his involvement with the truth of love

With the wondrous path to be back in alignment

With the truth

With his home

With his beloved

His enthusiasm

And his eternal joy.


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My Pages

The healing process

Entries 1-58 show how I use the method of Intuition Through Art to heal myself from Peripheral Neuropathy.


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