Posts Tagged 'subconscious'

156. One poem with three names

1. The Green

2. The Habits and the Flow

3. The Human Condition 

The reds go to the green

The reds go to the green

But he is overwhelmed and afloat

The river flows rigorously by him

And everywhere else

He remembers the river from a dream

 

The browns are curious, supportive and showing the way

Just as the lines of his drawings are

And the Green welcomes them

 

There are golden drops all over the place

I told you he is overwhelmed

I did not tell you it is joy

 

The reds are riding in dutifully

Hoping they are in the right direction

Reminding of biblical tribes of nomads

Who always go to where the green goes. 

A few notes: 

The nomads who follow the green are the subconscious habits that we have. Of course I did not think this when I wrote the poem. You try to escape them by changing your life and there they are with you again.

This is a description of my life at the moment. Of course I did not think so when I wrote it. The lines help me a lot to see clearly.

The joy is all over the place, in the curiosity, in the creativity, in the love, in the beauty, in itself.

The poem has power because it speaks in pre-language. You put words to it but it is the pre-language that speaks.

The river was seen sharply and clearly in a deep state, showing me that the flow of real life is always right here with us, strong and eternal.

Why is the green the hero?

About satisfaction: 

When beauty is created through you there is satisfaction.

It is the beauty that came through, that puts you in wonder, provoking deep appreciation and thankfulness, that you can also call satisfaction.

You feel you did something that is meaningful. You expanded, surprisingly. You have more love now. This is satisfaction.

Do you need anything? No. Thanks. Everything is OK.

142. process with three pictures

The night was torturous.

The pain, which used to be concentrated in one place, spread to bigger areas and to both feet. I don’t know how to describe it so that you will be able to really have a sense of what it is. It is a big experience. Waves after waves of tremendous energy pass through the feet, and hurt as they pass through the hurting places. The hurt is so strong that all my body stiffens, and sometimes, jerky movements happen to the feet and the rest of the body. I clutch with my hands anything that is near them. There is fear of the pain in my stomach and chest, pressure in my throat. There are very few thoughts in my head. I am an old hand. I become the viewer, the spectator of all of these. I let them happen. I gradually calm my reactions and then, sometimes, the pain is reduced. Sometimes I depart from the body and fill the room or the neighborhood. Sometimes I let my imagination take me anywhere it wants to go and I end up in far away places. The pain calls me back and I become the spectator again. Sometimes I force myself to see myself walking in nature, riding my bicycle, swimming, sitting on a hilltop and looking at mountains and rivers.

There is a tremor throughout all the nervous system. If I fall asleep, I wake up after a short while, half an hour or an hour and my whole body shakes strongly from the pain.

I don’t know if this describes my experience well enough. I hope you get some feeling of it. Don’t dwell on it. This is just the beginning. It is going to get better.

This night I did not fall asleep. The pain was too strong and too disturbing. At 2 AM I came to make a drawing, to see what was going on.

And this is the drawing I made.

Darkness strangling the light

Darkness strangling the light

I immediately wrote about it with words that came easily, even though I was so tired and longing to sleep.

 

All the forces of the dark

And all the possibilities of pain

Come to conquer the light

 If the light dies

There is no conflict

Any more

The story ends

And what is left

Is love

Everywhere.

 

Between 4 and 7 I slept three times, for less than an hour every period.

The last sentence that came to me made a big difference in my mood. Or maybe it was a small difference. How can you know?

There are people and guides who advise to acknowledge the pain, to say thank you for its service, as it has pushed me really hard to the life of dedication to being connected with the eternity that I am.

Some guides spoke about how lucky I was to have had something that not just prodded me but really pushed me so hard. Then, after acknowledging, the guides say, move yourself into the condition that you choose. You do this with the imagination, and you make sure that you stay in the feeling of being in such a state, experiencing it as thoroughly as you can. This is the two pronged approach that I actually like.

But I know of another one too, which is more natural. It says: Just see what is going on in the subconscious and let it go. In its place, a better state will arise. This series of drawings and writings presents this second way.

So in the morning, after the usual morning activities, I do a second drawing. There have been many times, in which I did the drawings soon after one another. This time I felt that every drawing gave me some fulfillment and I needed some time to let it do its work in my subconscious, before I started the next drawing. When it felt right I did the next one. Here it is. My question was again: What is going on in my subconscious now?

 

Running right, looking left

Running righ, looking left

 

And this is the text that came spontaneously when the drawing was done.

 

I feel I am running in two directions

I want to know

That I’m okay already

And do not have to run

Anywhere

I am running very fast

And look back as I run

I hesitate

I’d like to calm down

And run nowhere

Anymore

Everybody is running

I feel I should be running too

But I stopped to ask

What are we escaping?

Maybe I do not have to run?

Maybe I can stay here?

What difference does it make

To an infinite being?

 

You can see that the mood is totally different. There is movement, hesitation and the dawning of a deeper experience.

 

I did a few scheduled things and after about an hour I drew again, with the same question.

 

The baby with the seeds of creation

The baby with the seeds of creation 

And wrote again.

 

The child of wonder

With seeds of all kinds

Is being loved beyond measure

By the guides

Is supported all the time

And all is just 

The way it should be.

 

This ended the process this time. It helped change my mood in a big way. Feeling being loved always makes a big difference. These are my experiences these days. They are available to you too, of course in your own unique ways.

 

And just to make sure that you know: In the words for the first drawing I mentioned dark forces. Just know: There are no bad forces in the universe, unless you make them in your imagination. You really don’t have to make them. Believe me. Release all your inventions and you’ll find that the universe infinitely loves.

139. Walking in the rain is the right thing to do

I sat at my desk at 5 in the morning. I slept well till then and it made a big difference.

As I made the lines in this drawing I knew that I was very patient and that I listened to every line as it was made. There was no decision about where the line would go until it went, and I would change direction in the middle of a movement if I felt that this was the truth of the moment. I felt very clearly when it was time to end and I did not touch the drawing any more after that.

I looked at every color and collected the sentences that came to me when I looked at them. I mixed the sentences and fixed them a little until they made sense.

This is not new. I just wanted to say these things to those who came late to this blog. It is a process of looking in and connecting with intuition, to see what is going on in my subconscious or the dream state. The dream state always goes on, even when we do not dream consciously. It has a mixture of programs that are active now in the subconscious and can be released, plus ideas in support of our growth and expansion. If we listen to it, we always benefit. It is the place where our life is being created, the factory of manifesting. Everything that we see there while being in this deeper, intuitive state that enables the seeing is being released, just by having been seen. Its power to create ends. We create less and become simpler.

Being simpler means that we have less filters in our subconscious and allow the truth to come to us both from the word and from within. When it comes from within, this is intuition.

Here is the drawing I made:

Trees upside down in th rain

Trees upside down in the rain

And these are the words, after some playing with them:

Though forms of the non physical

Argue very softly and transparently

That nothing is real

Blood pouring softly as curtains

Is just a story

That does not want to leave

The fact that the trees went upside down

And the sun is coming as showers

Shows that every thing

Comes to bless

Everything else

Memories of wet mud

Are just eternity speaking

Walking in the rain

Is the right thing to do.

118. Full of curious life force

I am going through changes and for some time I felt as if I was floating in space in some way, not feeling like doing anything, because it was not clear to me why to act at all. A whole old paradigm, so to speak, became obsolete and the new paradigm is unfolding still.

I did a lot of drawings during this process and won’t be able to show them all to you. I never was able to sow all that I was doing. I try to show the important ones. Some of the work included pretty intense release of old programs from the subconscious. Thinking about what I intended to do, I found myself afraid one day and started to draw, which lead me to feel wanting to grow but escaping, then there was a big self cancellation, then an experience of shock, then anger and more anger, and eventually good feeling. This was done in twelve drawings and quick writing, in one evening and the morning that came after it.

Then there was a shorter, four pictures version of the same thing, as it repeated itself like an echo.

Then these two:

For the first, five short poems came, instead of a single long one.

Curious

Curious

As they are looking for something they forgot

They are making a tapestry

Of happy swimming.

Tickling each other pleasantly

Telling each other they cannot find their goal

They are full of curious life force.

Laughing

Sliding bodies

With open eyes.

Filling up the space

Many fish are

Swimming nowhere

To the sun they come

From the depths

Of darkness.

Looking at the drawing now I feel I did not express something about the quality of the lines in the lower part. They seem to be rotting. There is a Zen book called Swampland Flowers, which is a collection of letters written by master Ta Hui to a student, about how to practice in everyday life. The name means to hint at the idea that the lotus flower, which represents enlightenment, cannot grow in the clean fresh air of the mountains. It has to grow in the swamps of the valleys, where it is hot, humid and dirty.

I see in it all the joy that arises from all of my self-work and the peace I feel about pleasant, light hearted touching.

The next drawing is from two days later.

Touching lightly

Touching lightly

Standing one behind the other

Curious and interested in experiencing

The parts that were banned

And what a blessing it is

There are many ways of saying no

But the yes is one

And always there, inside of all of them

As it is

Forever true.

Looking at the two drawings and words you can see how things work themselves quietly in the subconscious. The constant exposure to the flow of intuition, or maybe I can call it the flow of truth, gradually dissolves everything that is not true and leaves what is true untouched, as it can never be taken away. It was a surprise for me when this happened, because I did not work on it knowingly. This too shows something about the method of intuitive flow. You just do the work, following what comes up and there is a wise order of what is being tackled, happening on its own, guided by deeper knowledge. We could not arrive at this wise order through thinking and analyzing. Life, as it turns out, is much easier than your think.

I remember working with a person who came to me to get rid of his depression. We worked on whatever showed up. Sometimes it was possible to see that it was related to the depression, and sometimes it was other things. Dealing with all that just floated up to our knowledge, one thing after another, one day there was no depression there any more. And this is for life, as all the mental software that created the depression, all that tapestry of many small issues, dissolved and was not there any more.

117. The green that overgrows

Burning casuarinas

Burning casuarinas

 The red sun is painting the foliage at dusk

Intensifying play reality

The green that overgrows

In the village of my youth

Is the shadow

Of the villagers’ lives

Look! Look!

The truck that you hear

Struggling up the little hill

Will soon appear

Among the burning casuarinas.

 

You may ask yourself: What does this have to do with the work of this blog? Why would memories of youth belong in a process of emptying out everything, that creates conflicting thoughts, from the subconscious, so that more and more of the light of being will come through, and more energy will go to all the places that need to heal?

This process now is like a very long meditation. Or maybe it is very short. I don’t know how to define it in these terms. Time and again I look into my subconscious while being in an intuitive flow and whatever is there, that intuition decides to show me, starts floating into my reality through the painting and the writing process. The unknown becomes known, while at the same time being let go of. You can see that there are feelings that were provoked. I think mainly they are love and playfulness, with the wonder of a child.

These were the years when I installed a lot of programs in my subconscious. Then they disappeared from the conscious mind and continued to work without control in the subconscious. This is part of the human condition. So when these memories arise they also touch on other programs from that time, like: These are important people; They are big and know what is right and what is wrong; I somehow depend on them and have to listen to what they say; If what they say and think contradicts what I feel, I have to cancel what I feel and start believing in what they say instead. But when I look at these programs through love, wonder and playfulness, they lose their power, because, looking with love, I experience how these programs actually block love. That’s how the light works. And now, that they are much less powerful for me, the wonder surfaces. This is what we see, and it is part of this process.

For some reason this is what intuition brought to the surface now. Intuition is my guide. And intuition is my healer. It says: Look! Look! And then it says: I am here to just see and love. This is the process. I am deeply thankful to the wonderfulness of this process. I invite you all to learn it and use it.

I know what some of you will think: Where is the article, in one of those boring journals, that will prove with numbers and quotes that this is true at all? Who are you to invent new things? You have a rich imagination, Giora. But can you please give me some graphs and numbers?

What to do?

What do you say?

110. Bad thoughts

There are three ways that I know of, to change reality for the better for you. All of them depend on changing yourself. All of them depend on becoming more and more happy, regardless of circumstances.

One way is to clear subconscious material. Every subconscious hindering or blocking belief that you clear out opens your energy system to a flow of intuition, which is a happier way to live. So the happier you become, the even happier you become. And this can happen, regardless of the circumstances of your life. All three ways are an equal opportunity for all. As you become happier, even in a small measure, you reality starts changing to fit your new inner condition.

The second way is to just decide what is the change that you want to create and imagine living it. This also has to be a change into a better state. You can change to a worse state, but why would anyone choose that. The more vivid and continuous your imagination is, the closer you get to change your subconscious beliefs. There comes a point when the power of the imagination is stronger than the power of the subconscious beliefs, and at that moment the subconscious beliefs change to what you imagined. Now the world around you changes to fit the new belief. But the truth is that at that state you feel so good already that it is all right with you whichever way reality turns out to be.

In both ways you will encounter resistance to change. Some of the beliefs we have in the subconscious are very strong in resisting change. Some give way easier. If you use the first way, you are already exercised in releasing everything that shows up, and you do this with the resistance. But if you use the second way, you may not be ready for the resistance, and especially if it is very strong. So you have to learn how to release blockages, and then you have the tools that you need. When you imagine a better state for your life and a resistance comes up, you use a releasing method to clear the way, and when the way is open, you go back to imagining.

And there is a third way.

It is to always interfere with your thoughts when you catch yourself becoming less happy, and think other thoughts that create a better feeling. This way also generates resistance sometimes, especially when your change of thoughts involves resisting the thoughts that you do not want to have. This can happen pretty easily and everything that you resist in your thought-world, becomes stronger and will fight back, so you have to learn how to release resistances, instead of resisting them.

And here is an example of what had happened to me.

I have been employing the second and third method for about two months.

Changing my thinking to always think thoughts that create better feelings, I caused the negative thoughts to rebel. I remembered the effectiveness of releasing everything that comes up, which is what I did before, and got upset, because this third and second way raised a lot of resistance. Last night I drew and this morning I read my drawing and found that the beliefs in bad luck were fighting back. Here are the drawing and the words.

Falling

Falling

Trying to go right or left

You can’t escape the mud blobs

Jumping at you

Whether you sit or walk

The earth breaks under you

You get in the sled to go uphill

You find it broken

And you are too heavily clothed.

Reading this I knew that I fell.

I always journal, writing without any restriction whatever comes to my mind, and in all cases this has always helped me see what I was feeling, and, seeing it, the feeling would dissolve. This is a good way for me to release. But I tried lately to not have any negative thoughts. The negative thoughts, instead of being nice to me and getting weaker, got stronger.  So this morning I went back to my usual way and wrote about all that is bad and hard and difficult, and very easily my mood changed for the better.

When I was in the bad state I thought:  I have suffered enough. I don’t know if mu body can take it much longer. If you, the All, have anything to say, please do it now.

But now, after writing in my journal I was in a better mood. I had to move my car for parking regulations and went, as always, to the Hungarian Pastry Shop, where I can leave my car nearby unattended for that period of time. Sitting there I asked Intuition: Do you have any answer? And I drew. (As you know, I always have drawing materials with me.)

Bigger systems at work

Bigger systems at work

Then I read, and the words just came to me as follows:

There are bigger patterns at work. Continue and it will clear up.

Well, that’s settled, I thought. And there was nothing else to do about it.

Then the question came:

So who am I?

I drew:

You are al

You are all

And went in with words:

You are many

Intermixed.

You are stable, real-like things

Flowing.

You are thinking landscapes

clear river waters

And mountains in meditation.

You are ancient and intricate

Having all emotions

Riding on peace.

98. When the head finally falls

I am going through a strange time.

On one hand the ability to feel in my feet grows more and more every day. I start having longer periods without pain. It is going to happen. I have brought my psyche to a state that allows my body to heal from Neuropathy and neuropathic pain. I allowed intuition to show me what was blocking my healing ability and it took me to places I would not have been able to go to without the art process and its reading. I accepted the strangest ideas that showed up and allowed them to become loose and leave me, opening the space for better inner experiences.

On the other hand I am going through a seesaw of good mood and sad mood, up and down. And the events in my life go along with these moods.

One day I have a new client calling. The next day they cancel. One week I have more income than I had in a long time. In the next week two or three clients cannot come for one reason or another. I am still in some kind of a struggle, even though I see the futility of it. I know there is no need for struggle. It is my habitual patterned subconscious mind, with the game that I came here to earth to play, not wanting to let go of its mission.

There are two ways to come out of it. The first is to imagine living in better states and be so convincing to the subconscious that it takes on new thoughts and beliefs, instead of the old ones, which have created my life now. This can happen, and happens in the best way for me through the drawing process. It happens so well because I allow my intuition to guide me to what I want to live, instead of what I have lived. My intuition shows me what is best for me. And I love to be in touch with it.

The other way is to peel off the mask from what we call reality, to see that it is not real, that it is being created by yours truly all the time as some kind of a crazy game, in which I, the endless I, enjoy all the emotional calamities, as if they were the best delicacies in the world. This too happens in the best way for me through the drawing process, through which I let go of more and more mind-stones, and clear the way, quite easily, for intuition to stream lovingly through. This is the tearing down of the mask from the face of reality.

So the same process does these two things.

I have written about this before, and have gone through this process successfully many times, and I still have to do it.

Here is today’s craziness report.

Image

The body is like a mountain

In the early morning

When it is cold

The head is like a heavy rock

That can fall

Any minute

The palm trees are like thorns

In the end of summer

Dry and stiff

There will be a lot of noise

When the head

Finally falls.


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The healing process

Entries 1-58 show how I use the method of Intuition Through Art to heal myself from Peripheral Neuropathy.


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