Archive for November, 2020

323. The life-forms will decide

A rock and a shadow
Stand on the flexible green
And a cloud comes
To cover them

It turns out
The shadows have been going on
From far in the past
And into the future

Unfinished life forms have only to ascend
As the blue haze is hinting
To come to a place
Of peace

The life forms
Will decide

Or does it only
Seem so?

The rock and the shadow seem to be me and my shadow thoughts.
The flexible green is the village where I grew up. Much of the shadows start early in life.
The cloud is the way our subconscious thoughts are unknown to us, until we learn how to hear them.

We know this, don’t we? The shadow thoughts are those that prevent the energy of our infinite self from being expressed by us in the life that we live.

Life forms are me and you and others. We constantly change, so we can be seen as unfinished, until we discover one day that we are like dreams. We always represent our state of mind of the moment.

Can we choose how we want to be?

322. Addition to 321

I would like to add something to the previous entry.

In the composition there are two spots that have some uniqueness, some characteristics that are different from everything else in the picture.
These are: the area that looks somewhat like a head with dots inside and the area that represents the pain. Here they are:

These two spots relate to each other in their colors, textures and the feeling of having interruptions in them. I could call it spottiness. Please look at them in the big picture, in the previous entry.
In the head, the spots look like a decoration. In the pain area the feeling is of a bleeding in a weak system.

Because these two spots are the only different places in the painting, they become important, and the relationship between them becomes important too. They become the subject of the art. Usually the subject of a picture is the strongest and biggest element. and here the subject is almost negligible. The two big movements in this painting, this of the lines and that of the color shapes appear to be the strongest and biggest elements. Maybe it will be more correct to say now that the subject of the art is the contradiction between the strong and big elements and the smaller but disturbing elements.

This correctly represents the situation I am in. There is the big movement of opening and connecting more and more to the infinite part of us, and there is the disturbance of the pain.

The pain is related to thoughts that are at the same time beautiful and separated.
Thoughts, beliefs and expectations bring about the experiences that we end up having. Some of the thoughts, the red ones, are connected to the pain by color. If I could let go of these thoughts, maybe this will stop the creation of the pain? And what stands in the way of letting them go? It is the fact that they are considered by me to be beautiful.

Usually we would think that thoughts that create pain must be ugly, shameful, and having other such characteristics. But many of the thoughts that bring us agony are actually being loved by us. This is why we do not want to let them go. Is this true? These thoughts are usually chosen in a very young age, in traumatic circumstances. The child, let’s say the really lovely three years old child, encounters danger. Out of love, and out of wanting to make the situation better, he courageously decides on the spot to act in a way that for him will be the best solution. He feels that it will be a sacrifice. He will have to let go of something that is enthusiastically loved by him. But he is determined to do good, and save the moment. It is beautiful. He is a hero. But this choice of his leads to blocking his connection to his flowing happiness and this creates all kinds of suffering, including, in time, physical suffering.

What do you think?

321. A bidirectional bridge

Thoughts go right
Feelings aim left
White is all around
Red is where it hurts

And if this makes you want to ask
Let the questions go
Sink instead
To where the questions come from.

I’ll go line by line in the end. But first I’ll say this:
The poem is how I read the art. At first it is just finding content, quite intuitively. As this inner seeing goes on, a deepening of the awareness happens on its own. A deeper view becomes available and it expresses itself in the end of the poem.

This is a general characteristic of art making. When making art, any form of art, we tune in to deeper layers of who we are. You can call it a meditative effect. The noise of the outer layer of our life calms down. More subtle energies start to be noticed.

This happens too in the drawing and in the addition of background colors. The drawing already is a process of increasing awareness. So when the background colors’ time comes, I am already in a deeper state than the way I started, and the background colors are added with greater understanding and compassion. (Note: I do the background after I do the line-work.)

The whole event, the drawing, painting, reading and interpreting, is about introducing awareness to what is going on in the mind at the time of making the art and reading it.

Now line by line (almost):
I took the drawing to be the thoughts. They created in the picture a bridge like shape that feels as if it goes to the right.
The background color shapes seem to be aiming at the left and I took them as feelings or the energetic movements under the thoughts.
There seems to be a contradiction here. Why would the thoughts and feelings go in opposing directions? This question is not being answered. But note that the color shapes were added when already in a deeper state than in the beginning.
White all around is the feeling of the infinite awareness that is everywhere.
The pain is in my feet. In almost all of my artworks there is some expression of the pain.
And here, in the end of the poem, comes the advise from the deeper and wiser state. Go to an even deeper awareness. Answers that come from shallow layers of us will not encompass the whole picture. They will be partial, and more questions will have to be asked and answered. Better to sink deeper into the infinity that is us, and allow something more fundamental to emerge.
And better yet: No matter how deep the answers come from, It is awareness that notices them.


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The healing process

Entries 1-58 show how I use the method of Intuition Through Art to heal myself from Peripheral Neuropathy.

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