Archive for March, 2017

257. Layers


Yesterday and today I did two new paintings. I did them small. You finish faster this way and are able to see what you made immediately.

I look at the second one now, the one I just finished.

The first one is also interesting to share and maybe it will be in the next entry.

I wonder again about the function of the second layer, the layer of the colors.

The way it looks in this painting is that the line-work is the story, rich in details, like reality itself. It also means that it has in it all the stories that I have used to create this reality. That’s just another way to say it.

And the colors layer with the simplified shapes is a second way to tell that same story. Only it is devoid of the dramas of the first layer and loaded with (my) sense of beauty, which is a characteristic of the language of the real.

These two layers/languages work together through me to create my experience of everything. I experience all the busy details with all the contrasts, difficulties, hesitations, scares and daringness. And I also experience the deeper play of the energies that reveal more beautiful mixtures as steps occur. Again, when I write ‘beautiful,’ I mean my experience of beauty. In the deeper layer there is a sense of peace that is not in the story level.

The lines can be irritating, worrisome, too fast to attend to in a full way, but the existence of the deeper view at the same time and in the same place gives the calm feeling of: everything is okay. We are moving from one beautiful thing to another. Things work together. It is a good world, hiding right under the busy illusion.

You choose to go out (into reality) and you become more worried and more irritated. You choose to step in and you heal. You find the freedom and the satisfaction of meeting with your true self.

What is your true self?

It is a moving target. It is always in the deepest place that you can access now. Tomorrow it may be even deeper.

256. What if?


All the drawings and paintings in the blog are thought forms.

They are different forms of thoughts than those that we create with language. It is a different way to know and communicate. It is the language that we need for creation.

If my art is created only from language-thoughts, it will be like repeating the old thoughts that I have in my memory. Nothing new. Boring. Not alive.

The language of creation has so much more in it. It has the composition, which is everything that appears, with all the relationships among all the parts. It has tendencies, knowing, wanting, feeling, experiences and everything else that can be done with a mind that is in deeper state than thinking with language.

If we believe that we are the body, then there are things that we see outside of the body.

But if we know that we are infinite consciousness, then everything that is in our experience is actually inside of us.

And all of it is made of us, since there is nothing else in our worlds but us. We make everything that we experience with these creative thoughts.

We make a basketball player. We make his competitor. And we make the ball that they fight each other for. We make the court and the audience. And we make our own body to look at all of this.

If I want to point at the ball, how do I do it? I just do. That is all. There is nothing to prepare. Moving my hand is like moving my thought.

It seems easier to believe that everything is made of consciousness if we think about dreams. We know that the things that we dream about do not exist outside of the dream. When we wake up, where do they go?

What if life is also like this?

Remember my meditation teacher who said to my complaining friend that his headache is nothing but a wandering thought, a few entries back?

Is that so that there is nothing at all in what we call reality, but our thoughts? And if we stop thinking, what will happen? No reality, right? Yes, it is true. There is no reality without thoughts.

So why do so many teachers say that we have to stop thinking? Don’t they want us to have our realities?

And what about ourselves? If we don’t think, do we exist? No. And we worried about ourselves so much…

And what is PTSD? Schizophrenia? ADHD? Anxiety? Boy, what have we been thinking?

We are lucky, aren’t we, that we have a subconscious that keeps thinking our bodies, our worlds, and indeed, all the things that we believe are true. So we are still here, made of our own thoughts…


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The healing process

Entries 1-58 show how I use the method of Intuition Through Art to heal myself from Peripheral Neuropathy.