Archive for August, 2014

195. The screeching is terrible

Old clunky machine

Old clunky machine

The drawing was done at 10pm, the painting – in the morning after.

It is like a very big puppet. The head is too big and heavy in the composition. The mechanism is old. It stood outside in the rain and plants started growing on it in some places. You can almost hear the clunking of its mechanism, the screeching of its rusty metal, in friction with other rusty parts. It used to be very beautiful. Some of the paint is still there.

The face is stubborn. Even though parts of it have fallen off, it still insists on moving forward. It works without an operator. It used to be the fascination of the community. Now it only walks alone, with much effort and nobody is watching. It is hard for it to move. The screeching is terrible.

It thinks.

Thinking is the essence of its engine, the oil and the fuel.

And now I know who it is: It is my autopilot.

193. Excited arising

For a few days I did not make many panting in my daily working on myself, as I used to do. It felt that I was doing a lot with each one and needed some space between them.

Excited arising

Excited arising

This is a painting I started very late at night, finished in the morning and wrote about two days later. In between finishing and writing I had a conversation with inner guides, or deeper self, and suddenly realized experientially that the creation of an experience (like, for example, the experience of a friend appearing in front of me) and the experiencing of it are one and the same thing. There is no gap between them. The experiences come out of who-we-are and the experiencing is by that same thing, at the same time. Creating the experience is the experiencing of it.

This may seem meaningless. So what, you’d ask?

It is the realization that we are the infinite. We, as the infinite, create the experience, which is both creating and experiencing. This is how we know ourselves. Every experience reverberates throughout all of what we are.

When I look at this drawing, I see that the moving force in it are the lines in different blues, that build up a movement up and left. It is like an excited arising.

When you make art you dip your brush in the paint and you start making a line on your surface. As you are making the line, you experience the making of the line and its effect on you. So it happens in exactly the same time. Sometimes you change the direction of the line as a result of what comes up in you as you are experiencing it. So it is an activity that is very grounded in the flow of “now.”

And suddenly I know:

I know why it feels so good to make art, and this indeed is true for all the other arts. It is pleasant because being in the flow is becoming one with who we are. And since who-we-are is joyful, loving, curious, peaceful, all these together and more, these are the experiences that we have as we flow. The ideas originate in the non-physical realm, and flow through us to appear in our dream reality. We experience being the creator and experiencing our creation. This is the purpose of life as humans in this dream life.

And this state of flow is also what heals everything that is less than this joy. Healing is making what is not true, true.

Back to the art.

The color areas feel as if they are substances or spaces that have light within them. The light emerges trough the colors. Every one of them is like a little unexpected world, endowed with its own special color. Can you imagine what is inside of them?

They can be things that are “real” like houses, trees, caves, tunnels, but I know that there is no “real”. It is just an experience, created and experienced at the same time.

The end of the discussion about the painting: These color spots don’t really care about being anything. They just enjoy arising excitedly just as the lines in blue.


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The healing process

Entries 1-58 show how I use the method of Intuition Through Art to heal myself from Peripheral Neuropathy.