47. Where is my freedom?

Right after posting #46 I have to move the car for parking regulation. I double park where the police does not ticket and go to the Hungarian Pastry Shop, across the street from the Cathedral of St. John The Divine. I sit in the deepest and darkest corner, and this is why I use black watercolor. I won’t be able to see other colors clearly enough.

Here is the drawing:


Towers in the sky

Towers in the sky

This time I am showing the process of Going-in-with-words.

This is the book I do the going-in-with-words when I am not at home.


The book of going-in-with-words

The book of going-in-with-words

On the left you can see the collection of words. I moved my eyes all over the drawing and caught all the words that showed up in my mind, as I was doing it. 

I looked again at the drawing and asked myself: What number should I use, and the first number that came to my mind was 4. You can see that I wrote this number at the top of the list.

I counted the lines and when I came to 4 I gave it the number 1.

I counted on, and when I reached 4 again, I gave it the number 2.

And so on. When I finished the list I started it again, and in counting, skipped the words that had a number already.

This is how I did the scrambling this time.


I wrote the list again, in the new order. And after it was all written down I started to add words, make slight changes and create something that made sense as a poem. It was not hard. The poem almost made itself. I could not know what it would look like before I wrote it, and I could not now what it would tell me, until it did. 

When I read it now, it makes a lot of sense to me. This is how my intuition talks to me and tells me what is the best for me to do with my life now.

Here is the poem:


It is not really a city

Turn around the hill

Among the fortresses

And meet the hardness of life

Look at the cathedral

Very near is the truth of freedom

Not in the erect building

It is open

Your feeling of need

Makes it seem closed

The citadel

Going up and up

That you think you can’t live without

Is nothing but a want.


If you compared what I wrote in the book to what I wrote here, and saw a few slight changes, you were right. Even now, as I typed the poem for the blog, I made a few tiny changes.


This is an answer to what was left open in the end of the last posting. As soon as I let go of the moralistic view, and my attention turns to the core issue of my wants, What should I do?

This is what intuition says:

Don’t get caught up in any of the signs of power. Let go of the wants, which want to build themselves into big appearances. Freedom is already here (in the surrender to intuition. You already know). In other words: All that I pursued, all that I felt I could not live without, and spent so much energy wanting, stands in the way of the flowering of my freedom.

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My Pages

The healing process

Entries 1-58 show how I use the method of Intuition Through Art to heal myself from Peripheral Neuropathy.


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