intuitiveflow

So here it is. We are jumping right into a somewhat complicated process. It wanted to come now. Simpler ways will appear in future posts. 

In a very early hour of the morning of April the 22^ndI made this drawing. I woke up with pain in my foot. 

Blood in school

The drawing is an intuitive drawing. I won’t get into how to make an intuitive drawing now. First of all you can read about it in my website. Second, There will be an even better description of this process in my book which is on its way. Maybe I’ll explain more in other posts too. It all depends on the fun. For now I can tell you that I did not have any plan. I did not know what I was drawing and I only followed my sense of beauty. Why do anything that is less than beautiful, as I experience it?

When it was finished I let it rest for a while. A day later I looked at it and collected words that just came to me as I was looking. The waiting is not necessary. You can do it immediately after you finish the drawing. I did not try to think or organize the words. I just made a list, as if I was finding them along some road. Here are the words that I collected:

A school building in a valley

Creek

Roots

Library

The town is wrapped around

Early night mountains background

The road nearby

Source of green

Reflects.

Then I started to make sentences with the words, so that they will tell a story.

When I did this, I did not insist on keeping everything precisely as it was. I allowed some of the words to disappear and added others. I also did not insist that anything would make sense at all. I was lead by another kind of sense of beauty, the one that has to do with words and how they are put together. If a sentence that was not there before presented itself to me in the process, I allowed it to become a part of this. 

Here is the final result, after some fooling around with it. As I finished this part of the process, I still had no idea where all this was leading me.

The school building in the valley

Is like a bridge above the creek.

It seems that roots come down from it

As blood into the water.

The town becomes the road

That wraps around the school

And when the mountains of the early evening

Play with see-through violets

This road connects you

To the evergreen reflections

Of all the words

That were not said. 

Let’s take the word school.  My schools never were in valleys. But my first school was inside of a lot of green. In school they taught us everything that they thought we should know, and they tried to hide everything that they did not want us to know, because it was too horrible for them. But those things came to us anyway. They came through energy. We knew them without knowing that we knew, and because of this, these very things became what we lived. This is how I look at the word school in this context.

Let’s look at the words: Like a bridge above the creek.

They remind me of a Zen koan. I am quoting from the book “The Flowing Bridge” by Elaine MacInnes, page 81 (Wisdom Publications, 2007). “A man passes over the bridge. Lo! The bridge is flowing and the waters are unmoving.”

It is possible to see this when you are in the energy of the ground of all and experience how the relative world can be any way you want to see it. It does not have to be as usual. When you write intuitively your words come from the ground of all, so you have the freedom to see things as you wish. These words show a state of mind that allows things to be seen differently than the usual way. This is exactly the great benefit of using intuitive flow. Without even knowing, we tap in to great depth.

It seems that roots come down from it

As blood into the water. 

These words belong to what our educators did not want us to know. Something that had to do with violence and horror, which they have experienced, and could not see themselves giving this experience to us, the children that they taught in school. There is one word that came to my mind in connection with this, and which was not there before. It is the word mother. My mother had experienced violence and horrors. She did not want to remember these, but her life was strongly affected by her experiences, and through her energy I have experienced her horrors too. This is how these lines are connected to my life. This is also the main point that has been discovered through the process that you are reading about. It is connected to my pain, as, hopefully, we will discover in clearer and clearer ways. 

The town becomes the road

That wraps itself around the school 

These words, for me, mean the way that the whole community supported the school educators in their fear of exposing their terrible memories. The whole town joined in the belief that it was necessary to hide some aspects of their experience from the children.

The mountains of the early evening, playing with see-through violets bring me again to a special state of mind. I was returning with my class from a class trip to the desert in the south of Israel. I was a high school boy. We travelled in a big truck and it was the last leg of the trip. I chose to sit at the back, where the tarp covering did not cover the whole view. My eyes rested on the moving violet mountains. We were moving of course, but for me it looked as if the mountains moved, and as the contents of what my eyes saw kept changing, my eyes rested and I was in an unusual peace.

The last four lines: 

The green shapes in the drawing repeat the shapes in the roots of blood. The road that tries to hide ends up inevitably telling the content of what it hides. 

Now let’s take an overview of what I did.

I did an intuitive drawing, which listened quite deeply to the contents of my subconscious at the time I did it.

Then I did an intuitive writing, which listened quite deeply to my intuitive drawing.

And by doing these I listened quite deeply to my inner world’s emotions images and thoughts. Knowing them from that depth has made their hold on my subconscious weaker. The energy of that depth knows the possibility of change. And wherever the hold of subconscious ideas has become weaker, something else has taken their place. This thing is intuitive flow. I have become freer and more intuitive.

Do you want to try?