7. Talking with a stone-wall

The real and the unreal

So I had the gift from Shirley, as mentioned in my previous post. The universe even did more. You should all know this. Once you put your mind into doing something, the universe comes to help in unexpected ways.

I had a conversation with the mother of a teenager who wanted to do therapy. The mother did not want her child to do it. She thought that therapy is dangerous. When I spoke with her I was struck by a feeling that I was talking with a stone-wall. There was no way this woman would listen to anything that came close to emotions or inner life. At night, wondering about the pain in my foot, why? what for? What is the message? I could not forget that conversation I had with the mother. She was like my own mother. I had so much in me that wanted to be recognized by her. I did not have a father from a very young age. She was the only parent I had. I would have given so much just to know that she knew what was crying out to be recognized in me, so I could feel safe to bring it out into the world. Is my pain such a crying out?

Now I would like you to know this:

The most important part of being able to live happily is that who you really are ventures out into the world and makes a good connection.

I consider this event another gift from the universe.

The next gift came when circumstances made me aware suddenly of the way I had a general fear at that moment, like a cloud all around me. Instead of knowing where the fear was in my body, I knew how it felt all around me. Did you ever have this happen to you? As if you are more than you body, and the air around you is a part of you? This fear had to do with sex. Yes. So much pain and suffering in the world has been caused by sexual discomforts. I know I am opening a Pandora box here. I can feel the resistance of the people in the world who are afraid of being touched in this area of their lives. It feels like a cloud that closes in on me. It is not a wall. It is the same fear that I described before, coming from others with a bit of hostility.

So here, in this moment, I am giving deep thanks to the universe for what it does to help me heal my foot, through healing my subconscious from thoughts that have injured the flow of my beautiful energy.

All these happened from the time I had decided to go into the space inside of the blue lines, in the drawing of post #5. All of these happenings were, in a way, like going into that space. But I am going to do it with a drawing too, and just as a reminder I’ll insert that drawing here.