Here is an intervention from outside.
I spoke with my friend Shirley this morning. We have been doing it every morning for a few years now, to help each other evolve. Only lately we have reduced our conversations to four times a week.
This morning, as I described to her what I felt she instructed me to go to a higher state. To say a higher state is the same as saying a deeper state. When you do it a lot, you can just go there by willing it to be, and there are meditation methods in different energy healing systems of how to do it. I did it more or less in the way I learned in Theta Healing. I had to be out of my mind in this way, so that I could look at my body and hear what it says, without my mind interfering. Shirley asked me to find all the places in my body in which I felt anything.
I felt the roof of the mouth tensing.
What does it want to say, Shirley asked?
Water, I said. It says: Water.
Give it love, she said.
And then I said: The back of the neck is pressured.
What does it say, she asked?
It says: Push through! And it says: More! More! More!
She told me to give this part love. I know how to do it and I gave. It is easy. You just decide to give love to anything and this does it. You can find your own words for this.
What else, she asked?
Oh, the upper chest and all around the neck, it says: Not true love from Mom. Not having found the end of the road.
With your mom, she says, you know that you have always been in charge of that feeling? She speaks like a Zen teacher, doesn’t she?
If you don’t resolve it now, it will go on, Shirley said. Mother’s day is coming. You can decide to give your mom the gift of releasing her from the responsibility of how you feel.
I decided to do it.
I know that I have worked a lot already on forgiving Mom for not loving me as I wanted, for frightening me at times, for making me believe in horrible things, just by behaving in certain ways, without even talking. The truth is she did these things without even knowing consciously that she was doing them. Remember the school-house over the water in a previous posting? When someone decides to do or not to do something, and he does it again and again, it becomes automatic. It sinks into the subconscious and acts there without our knowledge.
It is time to do it.
And you see, this morning’s conversation came at the heels of my decision to go into the figure in the blue drawing of the angers, to find out what is inside of it. I want you to see this: Since I have become ready for a step, my universe is starting to move towards me and bring me experiences in the direction that I chose to go.
This I consider to be a gift and I want to make something clear. The main way I work on resolving the pain issue is through my own method of Intuitive Flow, that you start to see in this blog. This is the main work. And when you work on yourself, things start to happen in your support. I could say no to them. I could say that I work only in my own way. But this would be like saying no to a loving gift. So as you see here and will see in the future, I do receive gifts and I take them and I am very thankful.