72. Never meditate after sex

My teacher said

My teacher said

My teacher of meditation told us to never meditate after sex. Wait for an hour at least or more, he said.

On the other hand when you start to understand what happens in meditation and see that while meditating, you release habits of thought that block you from seeing the truth and when you stop, the habits come back, you realize that the only way you are going to benefit, is by being in meditation all the time, no matter what you do, and of course, this includes sex. Also the essence of meditation, and the feature that makes it possible to benefit from it, is that meditation does not judge anything, but is open to experience everything. You learn to be in a state in which you can do this. Eventually it becomes the way you live always.

At first I took my teacher’s advice, but later I started thinking. Why does he say so?

Today I believe that his reason has to do more with culture than with the truth. In the culture of Chinese Buddhism, sex is considered to be an impediment to purity of purpose, when it comes to spirituality. It belongs to the passions of the body. It belongs to duality and attachment. If you are a householder and have a wife, you have to have sex and it is OK in these circumstances. But you hinder your development. It is good at some point, maybe when you are somewhat older, to stop having sex and devote yourself to spiritual practice. Then you will make use of all your energy for the purpose of evolving.

But this is just an opinion and it does not harmonize with many other things that Chinese Buddhist meditation promotes, like cleaning the house with awareness, cooking with awareness, meditating through everything that you do. All these things belong to duality and attachment. But sex is a stronger attachment, you may say, or the dedicated Buddhist meditator may say. It is true. We have been made this way. But every single appearance and thing in the universe is saturated with the same oneness. Every energy is so too. The energy and the activity of having sex are not different. And there are other paths to enlightenment that do not look down at both the body and sex.

By the way, even Chinese Buddhism acknowledges some householder-enlightened masters, like Vimalakirty, who had a wife and a daughter. A whole sutra is dedicated to him and he is very highly regarded in this tradition. But when it comes to practice, he is not the example to follow.

In Theta Healing there is the teaching about the fifth plane, where spiritual teachers reside. The residents of this plane are known to be opinionated. Being a teacher does not free you from having opinions. Of course it is very beneficial to study with a teacher, when you need one, but if you want only the truth, go directly to the endless. This is what they teach. When I learned a bit of Theta Healing and we, the students, were working on each other, just as my partner was trying to follow clues all the way to a core issue of mine, our teacher walked by and told her: In his case, his pain has to do with a fifth plane opinion.

This night, when my pain woke me up, it came to me to masturbate. I did, and stayed in meditation all trough it. When I came, I started to feel fear creeping in. It was a strange fear. It was mixed with something else that looked like awe. I decided to respect the fear or the mixture that it was and stay with it as a witness, meaning, continue to meditate. The feeling was very strong and after a while I felt I needed some help, so I got up and went to my table to do a drawing. I wanted to see what intuition would see and say. What it saw and said will come in the next posting.

I do keep your interest alive, don’t I?

And I do endlessly love my Chinese Buddhist teacher, the late Sheng-yen. If not for him, I would not be the way I am today. I am sure he sees me as a naughty student, who follows his heart, and therefore, even his naughtiness is lovely.

When I once told him what I did not accept about his teaching, he said that every teacher wants his students to be better than him. But I only want to be who I am, which for me means, to be in the state of becoming.

5 Responses to “72. Never meditate after sex”

  1. 1 anitanyc October 16, 2011 at 11:43 pm

    This post on sex and meditation certainly deserves attention. I don’t know yet how to give it the response it deserves but I sure hope some others will.

    BTW, your observation on cultural biases within spiritual traditions is also important because it is a truism often ignored. The result is that followers of a particular teacher or line take ALL the tenets of that particular tradition “religiously” even though many are just based on some historically and geographically foreign local customs or folklore.

  2. 2 Joe Hayes June 29, 2012 at 2:03 pm

    I am very new to this sort of thing, and by no means an expert. Having thus disclaimed, I would simply point out that in Daoist inner energy practices, the belief is that sex affects the 2nd energy center (the Dan Tien, as they call it), and that certain meditative practices directly following sex can actually damage the Dan Tien. Unfortunately, I can only relay what they say, but I would suspect that the root of this teaching lies somewhere in the above.

  3. 3 intuitiveflow8888 July 1, 2012 at 7:43 pm

    Thank you for this. It probably is the reason.
    Many years ago, having three young children, I used to visit a good friend, a dance therapist, who had some children too. The children would play together and we, the adults enjoyed being together, drank black coffee, listened to music and talked. I was an illustrator of children’s books at the time. My dance therapist friend looked at my illustrations and knew that I felt the energy inside the bodies of everything that I drew. We did not talk about energy at that time but she knew.
    After many years, after years of meditation I decided to go back to school and study to become an art therapist. As soon as I started meeting with clients I felt so happy and knew that this is what I really wanted to do. I was in the US and my friend was in Israel. I called her and we talked. I said: You know, I am so happy I have become a therapist. I feel that it is what I am meant to do. It was then that she disclosed to me that in the time that we spent afternoons together she already knew that one day I would be a therapist. She told her husband about it but she did not tell me. The reason: She knew that I was stubborn in this specific way. I had to learn everything on my own, through my own experience.
    I think I am still like that.

  4. 4 Merle Langlois March 22, 2015 at 10:37 am

    Funny I’m in Sheng-Yen’s organization and I was wondering the same thing. I think the fashi said to wait an hour after sex. From a male perspective it kinda makes sense, as you have time to shake off that lazy feeling. But overall I think it’s just that Chinese puritanism creeping in.

    • 5 intuitiveflow8888 March 22, 2015 at 1:36 pm

      Thank you for the comment, Merle.
      A lot has happened to me since I wrote this. When I wrote, it was the time in which I discovered the damage to happiness and flow that came from adopting ideas from people that I assumed to know better than me. There is no need to change anything in our behavior in order to become enlightened. The only thing that is needed is a lot of exposure to the energy of who we really are. This exposure heals everything and creates changes that are organic and wise, without the need to think about them or force them on ourselves. But when you have a religion, you can’t have it be run by people whose behavior can be criticized. So you introduce the behavior that you believe is best or looks the best. But the people who take on that improved behavior, according to the many precepts, do not come to this behavior from their heart but from fear and ambition or even ignorance, at least partially. They have to constantly fight against their old habits and force their adopted opinion on their tendencies. Criticizing behavior and fighting against tendencies never helps. When people do not behave in accordance with what they believe, the results will be, in the best case, mixed. Our mind, the thinking mind is not wise enough for creating change in a way that is complete in every step, that is wise and that is good for everything under the sun. The ability to think, which is a fantastic gift, is also, at the same time, the instrument by which we divert our attention from, and forget who we really are, which is beyond thinking.

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The healing process

Entries 1-58 show how I use the method of Intuition Through Art to heal myself from Peripheral Neuropathy.


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