75. The cat’s pajamas

I got an opportunity to buy the whole Sedona Method, made of three courses, with many CD’s for a very low price. I can use the Pay Pal account to pay for the first installment of three, really very possible, installments. And it is very alluring. It is a chance to have the complete course at home cheaply. Then, all you have to do is work with the CD’s every day. Every day you listen to one of them and follow with your release. It is easy to do. You feel better every day. I am allured. More than that: I long for the feel of Lester Levenson, the founder of this method. I saw him in my dream with uncanny clarity and felt so much love I have never felt before. I’d love to be with his teaching.

I think I’ll be able to release everything that still stays with me, then I’ll be free of it, money will come, success will come, everything that is good and wonderful will come.

Something stops me from going ahead and buying the program. I have in front of me the drawing I made yesterday.

Misleading beauty

Misleading beauty

It is a beautiful drawing for me. I decide to go-in-with-words. The beauty in this case seems to be misleading suddenly. With words I find attachment and obsession.

The writing tells me I am in front of a happy stream, going through colorful landscape and reminds me I am on fire with my pain. The stream is right there. It is easy to follow, but all I can think of is escaping to something soft. But that soft thing is actually a wall, a hard to climb wall. What a waste of energy, the words say. This is unexpected.

I decide to go on and do another drawing, to continue the process. I ask Int (that’s my name for intuition): What? What should I learn or do?

I do the drawing.

Crying out

Crying out

The new going-in-with-words tells me that I am putting a lot of energy in the unreal, that will leave me in the pool of earthly love, from which I’ll cry out to the sky, to find the land of creation.

I do another one. What? What do you want to tell me? What should I know?

Inside there is a stream

Inside there is a stream

The going-in-with-words say:

Inside of all this craving and speeding and pursuing there is a steady, peaceful stream, inside of which you feel loved. This is the real. Stay with this, where you feel loved and loving. It is impossible to know where it is going. With the other things the destination is known.

This can be your clue to what is real and what is not. If you know where it’s going, it is not real. This stream does not tell you where it is going, but living in it is meaningful now, all the time, for eternity.

I know at this point that it does not make sense to do another drawing now. The next one would be an empty page, or something that is impossible to draw. I came again to a good state through this technique. This technique is the cat’s pajamas. I know that the Sedona Method is a fantastic method. It has helped many, many people to reach peace and stability. I love it. But I love my method more. Not because it is mine, but because of this:

If you want to develop, with any method, you have to do it every day. You really have to do it all the time. I learned the release technique (Which is also the Lester Levenson method, taught by Larry Crane who is another student of his) and practiced it for three years. I went to retreats several times a year. I never felt at home with it. I like Hale’s approach, The Sedona Method, more, but I know that even with his way, doing it every day, doing it all the time, does not feel as right to me, as doing my own method. I already do my method every day. Some days I do it more intensively and some days less. But I don’t think there was even one day in which I did not do it, for the last two years or more. Before the last two years, I have been doing it all my adult life, mostly with less intensity and depth. Lately I see that it brings me to peace and happiness again and again, from any state. I do three or four drawings and I am there, with the wise view, speaking like a spiritual teacher. (This is a funny way to say that suddenly I know things I did not know before and I find the circumstances to give them to others.)

It is a scary thing for me to stick to my own method alone, to let go of other methods which are good. I know they are good. But this is what I am called to do. Thinking won’t help here. My heart tells me to go on with mine. And you can say it is not even mine. It is me. I just have to go on being me and evolving as me. And it is easy to see that there is no self in it. If anything, it goes independent of the self. It is a stream of becoming, and I do not even know where it is going. I only know that I feel right being in it. Or being it.

There is even a clear advantage to my method over the Sedona Method. When you release through drawing and going-in-with-words you come much closer to the richness of the feeling that you experience and as a result, the release is more complete. The release happens because of a full acceptance.

And there is a disadvantage. You need to have with you a pad and something to draw with at all times. When you go through life and suddenly something happens that requires some work of release, you have to have these with you. This is how I live. I always have a small drawing pad, something to draw with and something to write on. Nevertheless, there are times when you just can’t stop everything and do a drawing. In these times, you have to have some other method to work with and my preferred one is meditation, or going to a deeper state, because I do not like to use words if they are not art. Being aware immediately of anything that arises in me as I walk in the street, as I am in the middle of talking with another human being, as I am watching a movie or an art object, etc, is the key. If I am aware of everything that arises in me in the moment that it arises, and if I immediately give this energy space to live its life, if I allow myself to be able to feel and experience just every single thing that arises in me without trying to stop it and without wanting it to go away, then my life becomes a constant releasing, without the release technique.

The problem with this is that just releasing everything that arises from within is not enough, because there are so many things to release. The things to release are many, because there are a few basic underlying structures of understanding that create a multitude of variations of themselves, using different issues. As long as these underlying structures are active, they will always create new derivatives. If you release an underlying structure of understanding, you actually release every single specific issue that resulted from that same structure.

Lester came up with the way to be effective by relating every emotion to one of the origins of all the emotions, like wanting to be loved, wanting to be safe and wanting to control. So when you catch an emotion moving in your being, the first thing that you do, is asking yourself: Is this wanting love, wanting control or wanting to be safe? And after you find the answer, you release the experience that you have in your body. In this way you end up dealing with the underlying structures, and your releasing becomes much more effective. This is very wise.

There is a solution for this aspect in my method too, and it is even more natural. The way we catch emotions in the artwork is that we see structures in the composition that don’t work. There are conflicted structures, non-supportive structure, separation structures, etc. These structures are the issues that we release. They may have specific features that belong to a derivative issue, but as we release that specific issue, we also release its structure, which has to do with its core shape. In this way we end up releasing core issues all the time. When you use this method for doing therapy, this is one of the features that makes the therapy go fast. Not only that specific issue is being lessened but many other aspects of life change at the same time.

Another thing to compare is the speed of doing the release and the ease. You can say that in the Sedona Method and in the Release Technique, releasing is as fast as asking a question and saying yes. This is no doubt fast and easy. In my method you need to make a drawing, you need to collect words and make a poem or a story and then you still need to decipher what was said. It is a lot more than just asking a question and saying yes. But because the release in my way is so detailed and thorough, it is more effective than with just asking and answering, and you need to do less number of repetitions, working on the same issues. This, in fact, was one of the main reasons for me to leave the Release Technique and start using my own work. I did not feel as much release in the Release Technique as I felt was happening through my method. There is another reason, as you will see soon.

So as I see it now, the bottom line is that everybody has to find what works best for him or her. My work is dedicated to those, for whom working with art is more appealing than working with asking and answering or any other method, and because of it these people will use it all the time with more ease.

I forgot one of the main reasons for me to use my method. It is the beauty. I was told in my meditation that it did not make any sense for me to do anything in this life, which is not the most beautiful that I can. I don’t want to do anything other than that.

And of course there are other methods. Many of the methods that are being used by many people, have come to us as established paths that have been used throughout history and have track records of success. The Sedona Method and the Release technique already have track records too. My approach is new. The only person who can testify about its power is I. The people who came to work with me and benefitted, can say some good things too, as you can find in the testimonial page of my website . I have many more testimonials that I have not put there yet.  I do not have an impressive line of supporters who will swear by this method, but I have a few. I only know that for me this is the best way to become free, and I still need to prove it even to myself. I am still in a kind of a shock, realizing that the method I have come up with, or was gifted with, is that good.

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The healing process

Entries 1-58 show how I use the method of Intuition Through Art to heal myself from Peripheral Neuropathy.


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