The nerves, as they heal slowly, going from closer to the spine toward the edges of the body, have come to the skin. Now I experience 24 hours of relentless pain every day. Every touching of the feet is like putting a match there. Some of my friends and family, who do not see it as I do, think that it is a worsening of the situation. But I am happy, as I see the progress and know that it is going in the right way. I turn and toss in bed for hours without falling asleep, but I am happy. At four I come to draw.
Already as I draw I know. It is fear. It is something in me trying to escape the lower parts of the body, where the pain is. It is an automatic reaction. I can go from one place, where the fear is felt in the body, to another and calm them all down. But by the time I finish the last place, the first is afraid again. I look at this from a wider perspective and now I know:
The pain is an expression of fear that has not been taken care of in time and gotten stronger and more insistent.
And I know more:
All that the personality is made of is fear. Check it out.
Everything that is courageous, curious, loving, playful, creative, accepting and peaceful, has to do with who we really are, our deeper, infinite being.
It is that simple.
This is why therapy, when it is effective and dissolves an issue of fear, to open the way for the nice states mentioned above, is a spiritual practice.