125. It is so close


When I illustrated ’The Chanukah Tree’ I was in a period in my illustration in which I was very aware of every single brushstroke that I made. It had to feel a certain way. I can remember the feeling that I sought. Now imagine: How many brush strokes were there in the book and in all the illustrations I did through many years? Numerous. right? And I did this every single day.

Here in the room I hanged an illustration from this book.The picture at the top is part of it.

The people of the story and a few unknown characters run excitedly, on their main street at night, to see the stranger and his strange car driving through their Christmas-night village-center.

Before starting with the individual colors of each person and object, I did seven layers of under-painting that covered the whole area of the illustration with brush-strokes, and I paid attention to how every brushstroke related and combined with the other brushstrokes.

This created the darks and lights of the illustration. It was a night scene and I wanted it to have the darkness feeling of the night. I did all these in one day between eight in the morning and something like seven in the evening, almost non stop. Then I walked through the neighborhood to another home there, to bring my daughter home from her friend.

I did not think about it at all but I was in a deep meditative state. A group of four big-bodied youngsters stopped me. One aimed a pistol at my heart and told me to be quiet. Another strangled me from behind, so I won’t be able to move. I was peaceful and had no fear. I looked into the eyes of the guy with the pistol and nothing was going through my head. The pressure on my throat felt uncomfortable. I took the strangling hands away from my throat with no much effort (he did not resist) and started to walk , as if nothing happened, continuing toward the house where my daughter was.

If you are into every brush-stroke in an artwork that you make, if you feel them all, you are meditating, and it has a very good effect on you.

If you feel everything that you do to make sure it feels as you want it to feel, and it is up to you how you want it to feel, you are meditating. It means: You are coming from your true self. It is so close.

6 Responses to “125. It is so close”

  1. 1 Liane Carmi February 22, 2016 at 12:28 am

    I remember this night – although you had told me back then it was a knife to your throat. No mention of a pistol. I always wondered what must have been going through those boys’ heads as you walked away.

  2. 3 Nissim Francez February 22, 2016 at 2:43 am

    you end your post with:
    ‘It is so close’.
    What does `it’ refer to in the above quote?

    Also, I believe that I do everything I do (in scientific writing) to feel as I want it
    to feel, but I do not think I am meditating in any sense I know of this word.

    • 4 intuitiveflow8888 February 22, 2016 at 9:28 pm

      I thought of writing to you and you made it easier by having two specific questions.
      ’It’ is what I called ’the true self.’
      If you try to define who you are, the usual answer is something like this: I was born…..I studied…. I discovered these things about myself….I had these experiences….My occupation… I am married with …children….I believe…..I enjoy….. My dream is…
      All these answers are thought based. You are not born at the moment that you speak. It happened sometime in the past. But that past is not here any more. So it is a memory or a thought. And so are all the other descriptions of yourself.
      So if the past cannot be found experientially and the future has not arrived yet, the only ’place’ where we can find anything experientially is now.
      This is not absolutely true, but it is a step toward what is true, that makes it possible to talk about what is true.
      I tried to define myself based on what I experience now, and this is what happened. I checked some of the experiences that my body had at the moment (like: My hand touched the table) and found that there were three entities present. something that could be felt happened. Something else felt it and something else knew or witnessed.
      What about thoughts?
      Maybe we could say that the ’I’ is the thinker of the thoughts? But if you look closely, you see that thoughts appears In the mind. At that point we can engage with the thoughts and start to ride the chain of thoughts that follows, believing that the thoughts are ours and we are thinking them. But we can also disengage from the thoughts and in this case the thoughts disappears, just as they appeared. So it cannot be me. I don’t disappear when nobody looks at me. This observation, the one before, and the next one can all be verified by quietly watching what happens inwardly, just as I tell here.
      You can detect an emotional state. If it is anxiety for example, mostly we say: I am anxious. But experientially you don’t find the anxious one. You find anxiety and you find the witness.
      The ’I’ that we usually identify with does not exist. It is, if anything, just a thought, an assumption, that there must be someone there, to whom everything happens. Experientially you cannot find him or her. It cannot exist without a language. This is the false ’I’.
      So the only possible ’I’ there is the witness.
      If you try to experience the witness, you can’t. There is no body, no boundary, no weight, no smell, and not any kind of form.
      This is the true ’I’.
      If you start spending time with this ’I’ there is a chance that you will start to experience somehow, not by the senses but in some other way, that this ’I’ is much deeper than you thought. You start to see that it has no end and that it is the same ’I’ that everyone else has, and everything in the universe is known in the same way as all of us are known by this ’I’. And one day you may discover that there is no other true ’I’ in the whole universe. Only this one that you know exists. And there are many ’false ones.’
      Every ’false I’ has a unique connection to the one I, the true self, through his/her unique talents. The talents are the way for every one of us to express the true self. Everyone is different about this. Your specific one is the math. You may have more talents. I’m sure you have. But probably the math is the strongest. And you know that even among mathematicians, every one of them has his unique touch. You and everyone feel the best when you are using your talent. It does feel good to you, and you can detect the good feeling and continue to be ’loyal’ to it in your work or writing. When you do that, you come closer to be aligned with your true self. The essence of feeling good, the reason that we feel good when we do, is that we align with our true self. When we stray or misalign, we feel bad.
      Now the essence of meditation is to experience the true self and to be with the perspective of the true self. There are many methods but all of them want to help the meditator experience who he really is. Or you can say who we really are.
      Feeling good in itself is a meditation.
      Test: are you basically in a good mood, no matter what happens? This is the benefit of meditation (Even if it is not considered to be meditation).
      When you feel friendly with others, this is the benefit of meditation.
      When you are in the midst of writing and doing math that fits your taste, don’t you feel wonderful?
      Meditation is discovering the best feeling for yourself and living it.
      So you are a meditator.
      Makes sense?

  3. 5 Francez Nissim February 24, 2016 at 3:37 pm

    You say: Meditation is discovering the best feeling for yourself and living it.
    So you are a meditator.
    But if that is so, meditation is nothing but a routine way of conducting one’s life, carried out by 95% of the world’s population.
    Where is the big deal?

  4. 6 intuitiveflow8888 February 27, 2016 at 4:24 pm

    It is not a routine way to conduct one’s life, to choose to pursue the development of one’s talent.
    Most people’s way to conduct life is to take care of a good income that helps their sense of security, while neglecting their talents or what they truly want to do. Maybe some of them believe that when they retire they will take care of what they really want to do. First the responsibility and when it’s over start doing what feels good. And usually, once they retire they never do what they dreamed of doing in their youth. They have grown used to doing something that is “more important” now, so that they can do what feels good later.
    There is a big difference between these two choices.
    When you pursue the development of your talent it is somewhat like growing a plant. The plant has its own power and drive to evolve. The grower becomes the provider of good conditions. The growth and the development of the plant are watched with wonder by the grower. This is very much like meditation. The plant in meditation is the appearance and evolution of your knowledge of your true self, as it comes into the world through your actions and interactions with it. It is a big adventure. You never know in advance what new branch or flower will show up the next day. You provide good conditions and the true self creates its own appearance and development. Concerning this appearance, you are only watching it. Or, in the language of meditation, you witness. At some point you realize that this appearance and development is you. You find yourself in this way so beautiful and even magnificent that you easily discard your former identification with the grower. In doing this you become unburdened by the routine way of conducting one’s life.
    The other choice, to conduct your life routinely, leads one to identify even more with the one who, out of responsibility and fear, spends each day growing something that he doesn’t find any taste in, something that he’d rather not have anything to do with. His life is not about choosing what feels good but about somehow surviving the weight and the boredom of routine life. The plant that grows in this garden won’t move an inch, unless you kick and scream at it every day. It has no inner beauty and the only satisfaction that it gives is some protection against the fear of having no food and shelter. I don’t look down on these. But the quality of life in these two ways of living is very different. And maybe it makes sense to give up on some security for the beauty?

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The healing process

Entries 1-58 show how I use the method of Intuition Through Art to heal myself from Peripheral Neuropathy.


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