12. How I became a witness

Near and far

Near and far

I owe you going back to this drawing. It was made as a third interpretation of what was in that empty space, where the blue lines did not enter.

Remember, I was not satisfied with the first drawing, but I went into it with words anyway. I felt a bit better when I did the second drawing. But only after I did this one I felt that I could rest. In fact, only by coming to this satisfaction was I able to look back at drawing number one and do the intuitive wording game with it.

This process, on its own, is healing, even without any words or observations made. The reason is that this process, of going from being dissatisfied by what I drew to being satisfied is, as I see it, is a search for the beautiful. It is not for the idea of beauty or any philosophical claim. It is not even for something that is true for everybody. No. It is searching for my own beauty. It is a worthwhile search. Only when my sense of beauty, relating to the space inside of that bunch of blue confused lines, was fulfilled, I knew that something good happened and I felt satisfaction.

The trip I took through these three images is from being involved in the emotions to being involved in being a witness, meaning, being in a deeper state, seeing whatever is there in the subconscious, and accepting it. What is seen from being involved with the emotions is true, but not satisfying. The second drawing expressed this feeling of dissatisfaction (and helped me get rid of this feeling as I drew it). The third brought me into a deeper state, in which I saw the truth from a deeper perspective. This was satisfying. It is a step in growth. You can do this too, with everything that you feel.

I promised somewhere that simpler ways to look at myself will show up later, and here it is. This is the simplest. You just go on drawing about a situation or a feeling or anything, doing it in an intuitive flow way of course, and this moves you to a better state.

Why is it a better state?

Because there is no struggle in it. There is no trying to change anything. There is acceptance. This is love. Don’t you wish to be loved like this by your parents and friends? No matter what you do, you are accepted, without any need to change anything, just being as you are. Doing this process is practicing giving yourself love by being in a deeper, wiser place and accepting what is truly going on. This acceptance is not conceptual. It is not a result of a decision. It just happens naturally in that state.

I asked about beauty and art in my first post. Here beauty starts to be connected with being in a deeper state, being a witness, loving myself, allowing whatever happens happen. And art starts to be connected to an intuitive flow.

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The healing process

Entries 1-58 show how I use the method of Intuition Through Art to heal myself from Peripheral Neuropathy.


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