I was a Chinese monk. Many years ago, before this lifetime, I was a Chinese Buddhist monk. I saw myself in deep meditation as one. In the vision, I was doing walking meditation, which is a way to learn to be deeply aware even when we are in action.
By the way: According to Anat Baniel, as written in her book: “Move into life”, (Harmony Books, New York), when we move slowly with awareness, the brain creates many new connections, and rearranges its pathways of information. A whole better level of vitality ensues, just from doing this. Even happiness and creativity improve from just doing this.
When I asked energy healers to help me heal, two of them saw that I was a monk in China, and they knew one more important thing. They knew that I took the vow of celibacy. Even nowadays, if you want to be a Buddhist monk in the Chinese tradition, you need to take this vow.
At the time when I did it, it may have been a sign of determination and dedication to the path of freedom from all limitations. Until today I have the tendency to jump into decisions that are very challenging, just because I feel beauty in them (Look at this blog). I did not take that vow because I was free of sexual desire or in such a deep state that compared to this state’s deep peace and fulfillment, sex was not as attractive and compelling as it is for us normally. So there had to be a degree of suppression involved in this decision to be celibate. This vow remained with me through lives after lives and interfered with the normal movement of sexual energy. If I wanted to have sex, I felt that I was doing something wrong, that I betrayed my teachers, and that I had to be ashamed for wanting it.
Throughout my life, soon after having sex, I had visions of a furious mob coming to kill me. This may belong to other sexual adventures I had in other lives. When I did regression to former lives to find events that had to do with my pain, I saw myself being chased by a mob for having seen the naked queen somewhere. One person threw a javelin at me and it penetrated my foot exactly where I have the pain now.
I know that many people do not believe in reincarnation and they are right, because they have not seen it, and it is hard to find a proof for it. I have seen my previous lives in meditation so for me it is not a big deal. But I want to make something clear. It is not necessary to believe in reincarnation, in order to have or do good therapy. This is my process here, and these are the things that come up for me.