Healing and growth through intuitive art
The pink
Is riding the ochre
The pink is a saint
We know this by the halo
He’s also a juggler
And even if his clubs
Fall
They never reach the ground
Just like him
The drawing lines
Try to be
A judge
A piano
A horse
A boat in Venice
To make the people laugh
Going forward
He looks at us
The watchers in the air
Who know
That nothing is happening
At all
And this is why
We laugh
Like children.
As soon as I finished it and I wanted to go to bed, I felt that there was something good in it.
I saw it in passing two more times that night and the feeling was still there.
In the morning it became clear to me that I really like this one very much.
This one does not go anywhere. Yes, you can feel that it is part of a bigger scene, and there are more things beyond the borders of the paper, but there is no feeling of wanting to go out, or of any other struggle. There is only the interest in what is happening here now.
The lines and the areas of color join together in a local play. The main interest for me is in how the different color areas touch each other and blend to a degree, but stay independent too. Like the different tastes in a dish that feel good together and at the same time you can tell exactly what are all the ingredients that were mixed in it.
It’s a delicate pleasure and my heart sings. Even though a whole day has passed, it still sings, and that’s the power of real satisfaction.
The most satisfying feeling that one can have as a human being is to experience the truth of who he is. Maybe it is a strange thing to read now, and I can write about it some time later, to make the idea open to everyone. In my life experience I found this to be true.
When we feel unsatisfied, we try to make the experiences that moved us stronger, longer, more pronounced in some way. But this does not really bring more satisfaction. It brings more wanting and frustration.
To find what is deeply and truly satisfying, find a way to get calm and develop an interest in your own inner responses to what is happening now. In those energy movements that you can detect in your being as responses to what is happening to you now, and in your curiosity about them, you will find the main road to knowing yourself and to the beauty, art and truth that you are.
Under the drawing lines there are only two shapes. One is yellow. One is multi colored. The drawing lines above the second, bigger shape, were used as borders among the colors. The drawing and the multi colored shape became glued to each other through this. They became one.
But from the top of the multi color shape, the drawing continued to go out into the world and play.
-Come back, drawing. Time for dinner.
-But it is so much better to play out here. Do you hear, Mama? The yellow shape shouts “Catch me!” But no, I’m not going to hold on to anything. -Shine on, yellow. Be free like me. Don’t worry Mama. We are going to have a good time, all of us. Look: I’ve already made some fruit!
-Oy vey, my child is leaving…
(This was my subconscious.)
I am.
I think of A.
I make A out of myself.
In order for A to be A, it needs B all around it.
So B is created too just as I create A.
Now A, a part of me who is different from everything else, and B, also a part of me who is different, interact with each other. The interaction is an experience. I feel how the energy of the experience moves inside of me. I can feel it because it is different from the calm me.
Now, if I give A the ability to change at will, the result will be that different B’s will be created around the different A’s. And every pair of A and B will create a different experience in me.
When you are the only being in existence, you need to be innovative, if you want to somehow know that you are, or to know your potential.
Without creating you don’t know yourself.
Creating is the way to self-knowledge (and self-love).
If you ever have the question “Who am I?” Create, and you will know at least one way that you can be.
You will know much more. You will know yourself in a deeper way.
You will know satisfaction. You will know flexibility, you will know that magic is how things are always done, and you will know that there is no final knowledge. You will also know that there is no truth. There is only the now experience.
Yesterday and today I did two new paintings. I did them small. You finish faster this way and are able to see what you made immediately.
I look at the second one now, the one I just finished.
The first one is also interesting to share and maybe it will be in the next entry.
I wonder again about the function of the second layer, the layer of the colors.
The way it looks in this painting is that the line-work is the story, rich in details, like reality itself. It also means that it has in it all the stories that I have used to create this reality. That’s just another way to say it.
And the colors layer with the simplified shapes is a second way to tell that same story. Only it is devoid of the dramas of the first layer and loaded with (my) sense of beauty, which is a characteristic of the language of the real.
These two layers/languages work together through me to create my experience of everything. I experience all the busy details with all the contrasts, difficulties, hesitations, scares and daringness. And I also experience the deeper play of the energies that reveal more beautiful mixtures as steps occur. Again, when I write ‘beautiful,’ I mean my experience of beauty. In the deeper layer there is a sense of peace that is not in the story level.
The lines can be irritating, worrisome, too fast to attend to in a full way, but the existence of the deeper view at the same time and in the same place gives the calm feeling of: everything is okay. We are moving from one beautiful thing to another. Things work together. It is a good world, hiding right under the busy illusion.
You choose to go out (into reality) and you become more worried and more irritated. You choose to step in and you heal. You find the freedom and the satisfaction of meeting with your true self.
What is your true self?
It is a moving target. It is always in the deepest place that you can access now. Tomorrow it may be even deeper.
The flowers grow in all kinds of shapes
The light in the flowers
Is your light
The light in all things
Is your light
Every little speck of dust
Is a door
The door is always open
Come, go through it
Come and meet us where you are.
There is light in the white areas
There is light in the ochre
There is light in the black and grey
I am in the black of all shapes
You are in the white of all
And we do not know
We tell each other ochre stories
We laugh and we cry
We say: I am ochre, who are you?
Are you ochre too?
Don’t tell anybody that I said this
These are actually
Only words.
As you see
The areas overlap
And struggle with each other
For control of the same space
And what if they knew
That the same space
Is open and given to every one of them
With no limitations
All with love and joy and acceptance
Be they as they want to be
And the radiating hurt
Is like roots
Trying to hold on
With fingernails
To a piece of ground with no water
Or food
Bt they can change their experience
And feel blessed
In being able to dance that dance
And infinite number of others
For all eternity
With nothing to loose
Nothing to gain
Just joy.
The big stones
That were uprooted
That were torn away
From their heavy comfort
The loose stones
That everybody fears
Know already
Even as they slowly turn
And are about to fall
With a thump
The peace
That will be here next.
The tree and the stones
Are closer to my eyes
That are in the body
My imagination
Takes flight
Disconnecting from the body
And the earth
The flight takes place in inner space
Which fills up with joy
And this is what
Creates the drawing.
Arising from the plain
Stones and dust
Become stars
Where am I going?
Why am I tearing myself
Apart
Which is impossible
Anyway?
You can probably tell
From my vibes
I see the reality in my dream
Collapsing
And there is something interesting
About the space that opens
Maybe you can see that too
It feels alive
Maybe more alive than it usually was
It almost has a face
And you can feel it
You can almost touch it
With your finger
Will it laugh when you do?
It may laugh
And you will recognize yourself in it
Even though
It is me
And if all that will be left
After everything else had gone
Are these three little birds on a line
This too will be
An expression of love.
My father lived at the top
On the right
This is after he died
I came to live on the rocks
Where you can see the lake
I sit on a bench
The evening comes like love
I let myself feel the evening
On my skin
Trees and stones look with me
Quietly
With not even one thought
In them
The moon, an adventurer,
Will come soon
To fly over the Galilee
Sharp rocks and all
I wonder if the roads can melt
The sky – yawn
Me – sing in a few voices
My higher self is resting too
No matter what he does
His language does not understand
The war
The sharp
The past
The will be
Deep in peace
He folds a sweater
intuitiveflow 