Posts Tagged 'guide'

291. Tossing and turning

sleeplessness

I have been going through hard times with the pain, with meds that had terrible side effects, with a disappointment at the inability of medical Marijuana to help and with it own side effects too. I moved from having the pain relieved somewhat but starting to have heart problems, unpleasant changes in the digestive system, struggling with heavy sleepiness for most of the day and so on, to having the pain increased dramatically, when I quit using the meds and started the medical marijuana, still having the heaviness of not being fully awake.

Clearly there was no solution in the physical realm.

In a conversation with my inner guide, he said: You have to do everything with your heart. Let your heart guide.

Aren’t I a heart all through, I asked?

Yes, but there is still some fear, my inner guide said.

Yes.

Hence this night, desperately searching for sleep with no relief.

There is nothing to hold on to in this picture. You come to something and it moves away. The state you hope to be helped by is itself helpless. Round and round everything moves and never stops.

I went to my table. I dipped my brush in the first color that called me. I started to follow the experience of the moment, attending to the lines, the ways in which they came to each other, the way they moved, desperately searching for some calm. I wanted to be true to the experience, so I had to allow the feelings speak through the lines, and I witnessed everything, the feelings, the truth in the lines, the composition, the minute changes in the feelings, and as I was doing these, my lines started to express my new state of being: The witnessing.

Then I knew I had to stop. The decision to stop had to do with a feeling of beauty that I started to follow too. You can say that when you become a witness of your inner workings, you start being aware of beauty. And Beauty is somehow connected to love, to sharing, to playing and to being deeply happy.

And it is the time to leave this text too and move on.

Where is it that I want to move to now?

Where is it that you want to move to now?

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141. Flying is daring

I came to my desk at around 5AM again. I made the drawing that you see here. I wrote what parts of the drawing conveyed to me. I scrambled the sentences and rewrote them in a new order. I read. It did not make much sense to me, so I left it on the desk, to see it in the morning.

In the morning I immediately saw that it was a very coherent advice from my intuition. I want to show you how these things work, because you can do it too. Maybe at first it will feel strange and untrustworthy. But as you do this more times you will start seeing that it never fails to deliver something of importance, assisting you on your path. I am not the only one who has a guide inside of him. Everybody has. Listening to this guidance, you know that you are never alone. You know that you are loved. Basically you realize there is no problem anywhere. There is only your free will, choosing to allow the flow of who-you-are, or resisting it.

Trees do not think

Trees do not think

Be very forceful and decisive now

Thinking is like flying to places

It is hard to hold all this in your head

Look at your neighbor the tree

This is the way the air goes through it

The pipe is open and listening

And remember:

Flying is daring.

Now if you look at the drawing you’ll see the little tree near the base, in yellow.

The flesh color part, as if turning toward something, which is outside and being strong and with a specific intension, made me write the first line.

The green shape in the upper right, made me write about flying.

The violet and the dark pink, looking like a living thing breathing, made me write about the pipe, open and listening.

The circle in the upper middle part of the drawing made me think about a head that carries everything.

The flying part brought another sentence about thinking as flying.

The light blue little balloon-like shape, under the head and slightly to the left, made me write the sentence about air.

The tree is a being that has no thoughts to block the flow of what-it-is.

Now when I read the poem, this is what comes to me from the reading:

I am still in the process of healing. It has gone well. Maybe it is the last step. I have to be decisive and keep my focus on being healthy.

My thoughts will take me where I want to go. They will fly me, as it came in the original sentences.

It is hard to do all this from the head, meaning through thoughts of the limited “I”.

This part knows only about differences among things. If you want to go west, thoughts about the east will come up too and the two directions will have to fight with each other. The fighting makes you tired and you lose the focus.

The only way to do it right is through the heart, meaning, opening your mental and emotional being to become a non-resisting pipe, to allowing who-you-truly-are flow through you. This flow, if not hindered, is the solution to everything. It always has a focus and since health is inherent in it, it will bring health, if you want it.

The daring has to do with trusting the unknown to guide you.

When you see in your experience that the unknown loves you and can guide you if you are willing to be guided by it, the trusting becomes easier. The daring becomes a habit.

117. The green that overgrows

Burning casuarinas

Burning casuarinas

 The red sun is painting the foliage at dusk

Intensifying play reality

The green that overgrows

In the village of my youth

Is the shadow

Of the villagers’ lives

Look! Look!

The truck that you hear

Struggling up the little hill

Will soon appear

Among the burning casuarinas.

 

You may ask yourself: What does this have to do with the work of this blog? Why would memories of youth belong in a process of emptying out everything, that creates conflicting thoughts, from the subconscious, so that more and more of the light of being will come through, and more energy will go to all the places that need to heal?

This process now is like a very long meditation. Or maybe it is very short. I don’t know how to define it in these terms. Time and again I look into my subconscious while being in an intuitive flow and whatever is there, that intuition decides to show me, starts floating into my reality through the painting and the writing process. The unknown becomes known, while at the same time being let go of. You can see that there are feelings that were provoked. I think mainly they are love and playfulness, with the wonder of a child.

These were the years when I installed a lot of programs in my subconscious. Then they disappeared from the conscious mind and continued to work without control in the subconscious. This is part of the human condition. So when these memories arise they also touch on other programs from that time, like: These are important people; They are big and know what is right and what is wrong; I somehow depend on them and have to listen to what they say; If what they say and think contradicts what I feel, I have to cancel what I feel and start believing in what they say instead. But when I look at these programs through love, wonder and playfulness, they lose their power, because, looking with love, I experience how these programs actually block love. That’s how the light works. And now, that they are much less powerful for me, the wonder surfaces. This is what we see, and it is part of this process.

For some reason this is what intuition brought to the surface now. Intuition is my guide. And intuition is my healer. It says: Look! Look! And then it says: I am here to just see and love. This is the process. I am deeply thankful to the wonderfulness of this process. I invite you all to learn it and use it.

I know what some of you will think: Where is the article, in one of those boring journals, that will prove with numbers and quotes that this is true at all? Who are you to invent new things? You have a rich imagination, Giora. But can you please give me some graphs and numbers?

What to do?

What do you say?


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The healing process

Entries 1-58 show how I use the method of Intuition Through Art to heal myself from Peripheral Neuropathy.

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