Healing and growth through intuitive art
Hearing the sound
The knowledge that does not fit in the shape
Requires a mouth that is shut for now
The joy of expanding
Like children in a school break
Running out to the yard
Is like an eye that is open to the ocean
The face that will not be intact any more
Collapses because of an ear that hears the eternal sound
A hair that flies in the wind is left
From the static posture that breaks open.
The tilted, hidden story
At first I thought this was going to be a boring drawing with no emotions, no story and nothing happens. As I worked on it, it felt almost like a drawing that came from thinking.
But it didn’t. I find it interesting now. It has a story. The story is whispered. Boiled down to the essence, the story is about real, beautiful, sweet and loving life, hidden in forms. The forms would seem to limit the life, but they can’t. Everything sings. It dances in the air, like the people and cows in paintings by Chagall. It whispers slight differences of colors and shapes. It completes itself as a composition, which is an expression of non-physical relations, involvements and collaborations. It could be called: The hidden joy of inner music.
If it were a person, it would just stand there, well dressed and quiet. But you would notice a very slight movement of an eyebrow and you’ll understand everything.
The left and the right.
There is some discrepancy between the right side and the left side of the picture. The left is loose and hardly organized. It looks like something that is falling apart. The right is better organized, but it is losing some of its order by the pressure and movement that come from the left.
The right is filled with interesting things that try hard to hold on to their shapes. The left looks as if it used to have shapes too, but with the movement, no good form is left in it.
What does it mean?
From the point of view of the story of life, this painting may depict a traumatic and frightening event.
From energy point of view it is just the process of change. In the end of it, maybe there will appear new forms that will be better adjusted for swift movement? And it is also possible that after this movement the forms will disappear all together and there will only be a peaceful sea of energy, in which some things appear and disappear.
The forms are the story.
The sea is the ground of all.
So what do they think about the wind?
From the story point of view it is what brings a disaster.
From energy point of view it is how freedom manifests.
A bird came
For a while animals have been sneaking into my drawings. My drawings were supposed to be abstract but the animals insisted. And now this bird came. I know what it means. A children’s book wants to come into my world.
Contemplating head, stormy body and a rebellious neck
If this is a person, then his head looks as if it is planning something. But when you go down to the body, you find it quite emotional. My sense of structure cried out for some stability and this is why the pencil frames appeared, as building blocks that provide some stable interpretation of what is too raw and unplanned. In spite of the frames being so light, the emotions pay respect to them, and they do not go far away from the frames. Or you can say that the frames were sensitive to the rawness of the emotions and framed them only lightly.
In the neck, the free expression of the emotions has to change, so that the lower part can create a connection with the thinking mode of the head. And it is here that some rebellion happens (in blue). The emotions do not want to convert themselves into logic
What do you wish for this man?
That love will be the arranger of the expression of his life and its uniqueness.
And this whole picture explains why it is a bit hard for this person to speak right now. Voice comes from the neck, doesn’t it?
Many times I told the story to amazed friends: When you are born in Israel, the manliest man from your family hangs an army helmet 6 feet above the ground in your room, and you have to grow into it.
Of course it is not true.
But in a symbolic way it is true. You are expected to be brave, to become a soldier, to be tough on the outside and soft inside. You won’t show fear or too much sorrow when you face the war and its results, and somehow you will manage to keep a beautiful sensitivity that is very hard to detect, but your wife and good friends will know that it is there. In the right moments it will show up. Every person who was born in Israel is, in a way that enforces this image, called a “Tzabar,” which means a cactus fruit. There are thorns on the outside and it is very sweet inside.
And on May 22nd this man appeared in my art. This is the portrait of the man I almost became.
The man I almost became
This is what I wrote:
Bearded, unshaved, quick to anger. A lot of bitterness born out of tough life. Always suspicious and expecting trouble. Very close to nature, to open sky, to the earth and to the plants. Hard working, used to sweat and to having sore muscles. Will read poetry again after all the fights are settled, which means that he will never read poetry again. He will quote from memory one poem that he will remember before his death.
Come to the funeral.
You can also see a human being who is awake and buried in piles of debris. You can see his sensitivity showing from under the piles. He has a rich variety of responses to all experiences. It is this sensitivity and the many protective responses that created the debris. Now he is planted in a piece of land and protecting every inch of it. The horses go to work every morning, the sweat is pouring. Once a year he cries. In the rest of the days he only changes colors.
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I know I have never been this man. But the command to be one was kept somewhere in my subconscious. I escaped the helmet just before I hit it (and remained a little short as a result). Now I am okay with the image’s departure.
Good bye old friend.
Spots of light on the flow of life
These are nerves, and the flow of life. The dots are the mysterious spots of light on the flow of life.
If you take those lights away, the nerves will only follow their usual routines for habitual actions. But when you put the spots of happiness in, the nerves and the flow of life become happy too.
This is how the reading came to me.
This view is not scientific for sure. But it comes from being in a meditative state. It is dream-like and feels good. The process that I go through has brought me to a good state.
When we feel good, more unhappy habits float to the surface. They can’t survive in a happy environment. It is a chance to take care of them. This is why we go up and down.
Variations on stagnation and release
This drawing (The one at the top) is full of people. All of them are suffering. Their hard lives left marks on them. They are thinking all the time, remembering the harsh, the longed-for, the yearnings. They are colorful in a grey way. Each of them is a story of unchanging, of stagnating, of holding on and not letting go.
Who are they?
Why did they come to visit me this night?
What shall I do with them?
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In the second drawing a woman who is also a girl appears, with a few house items. One of them is a baby’s play pan or bed. I know how we think, especially if we are therapists: There is something here about early childhood trauma, something about unhappy relationship between the baby and his mother. I don’t get excited any more by these story hints. The story is not so important as the release of its energy. Having done the drawing and having seen what is in it is enough for some releasing to have happened already.
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In the next morning I look at the page and feel that the page wants another drawing down there. In this drawing strange creatures come out from a pipe or a cylindrical container and run away. They look like bad energy. The container they have escaped from is left transparent and empty. (There is no bad energy, folks. We consider bad if it is against what we want.)
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Having not read the second drawing, does it mean that we do not really need the reading? Well yes. When we make art intuitively, the mere fact that intuition, which is a happy and flowing state, is the viewer of the unhappy beliefs, releases these beliefs (At least partially). There is an advantage to the reading though. The reading makes clear what happens in the subconscious. And when the reading shows that something was released, it is very convincing to the person whose process it is. Knowing that it has happened, that person will start to expect to be free of that belief, and this expectation creates his life to be without that hindering belief. But for me, who has done this process so many times, there is already the knowledge that a release has occurred. So I can do a shorter process. But in many cases I am still fascinated by the readings and continue to do them. They always bring more from the subconscious than what comes without them. This works specifically well if the reading is done intuitively too.
The wind took everything away
There was a ladder ready to climb
There was a golden gate to open
Then the inner wind came running
Like a wild mythological animal
And took everything away with it
Come, we’re going
Forget about the preparations.
I am leafing through blocks of mixed-media-paper that hold drawings and readings from between May 12th and today, May 25th.
It is amazing to find that all the drawings dealt with the same issue, and that there is a movement there. I was not aware of these as I drew and read every day. They say that if you try to heal yourself, you have a fool for a doctor. But it is not so if you use this method (and a few others). The seeing and understanding with the method are not of the ego-self. The ego-self can easily be fooled by the resisting subconscious. But when the viewing is done by a deeper state of us, deeper than thinking, this view includes the struggle and the resistance that the subconscious performs. It is this view, that makes it possible to see that the resistance is an old choice that may not be serving us any more and that we can now choose differently, if we so desire. The deeper state is a wise and loving state, because it leaves our free choice intact. It only shows us two things: what is going on in the subconscious, and how do we feel about our struggle state. Being in this deeper state that we entered through the process of drawing intuitively, we naturally tend to choose what makes us feel better. This is what guides the choice and this is what creates the movement.
I wrote about this before in this blog, in a slightly different way. I wrote that being in the viewer state we are in a happier mood than the mood of the struggle, and if we have more of the happier mood, the less happy state dissolves. That is true too and these are only different ways to speak about the same thing.
So my subconscious continues dealing with the same issue, and all the people who come to me for therapy during my focused attention on this subject, present different aspects of dealing with the same issue. If I want to help them resolve their aspects of the issue, I’ll have to resolve my aspect first (it can happen through my work with them, but not only).
This gets closer to the true meaning of therapy.
I decided to present some of the drawings and readings from these three books.
I’ll present each drawing in a separate entry, day after day, and it will take about two weeks.
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This is the first. There were many before. This is a part of the page. I decided to start from this as it is a view from outside in a way, and later the eyes go inwards, in the later drawings.
An old dream
An old dream
Standing in the water
It used to be
A joyful flying machine
With a golden heart
Now it is barren
The paint is peeling
The tears have made
A lake.
Then I asked my inner guide what to do. He said: Go live in it. Take one room and one window. Grow a plant. Play music. Create. Make a huge space in your heart for me, and thrive. Do only what you love.
intuitiveflow 