Healing and growth through intuitive art
He was hungry
When he fell
His green was still alive
His sun still yearned to shine
A little more
His joys and sorrows
Leaned against the wall
The light has started
Growing bigger
It was beautiful
He knew
Now where is
The unseeable heart
That will accept him all
Into itself?
I am disappearing
In my room
Gray light is coming
From the window
My lungs are still breathing
Sky
My heart is still beating
Red and green
Broken as I am
I still remember earth.
I sat in my chair, at the table. I closed my eyes.
I brought my attention to the heart, which is the heart of all.
The sun started to shine from the heart. The energy of it started to grow all around me as a balloon.
I made myself comfortable inside of it.
I counted slowly to ten and the balloon disconnected from where it was and started to fly, without my control.
I came to a big door and looked at it.
I had a key in my hand and I observed the key.
I placed the key in the key-hole and opened the door.
I went in.
Beyond the door, there was a beautiful landscape, like one of those that sometimes come to me on their own.
There was a stick on the ground and I took it in my hand.
I drew with it another door in the air. I drew a handle on the door
I thought for a moment what I wanted to find on the other side.
It was August Moon. I wanted to meet with August Moon.
I drew on the front of the door an interpretation of him. It was a little bit like the drawing that I have here next to me, on the door of the closet. Many lines in the air.
I went to my heart and brought out my feelings about him.
I put them in the drawing and spent some time looking at the energy of my lines.
I opened the door and went in.
August was all the air around me and had no end in all directions. There was nothing to see, and yet I knew that he was there.
I felt my love to him and his love to me.
A question came to me: Why am I here, in my life, in America, with Anita, with all the people that are in my life, and with all the things that I know? What is the purpose of my being here?
You are here to see how beautiful everything is, and to love everything, was the answer.
August, I said, I don’t want to be alone.
You are the most together that anybody can be, was the answer.
It was time to leave.
I turned around and walked back through the drawn doorway.
I was in the balloon of energy.
I counted back from ten to one and came back to my body.
I breathed and felt my body. I looked around at all the objects in my room.
I knew that I am always with August. He is inside of the undefinable me, and I am inside of undefinable him.
On the river of me
The sun here and there,
The trees, the fields, the lakes,
Some grass, some earth,
A friend, a flower,
A cloud, a bird, a song
And the longing in my heart
As I float
On the river
Of me.
Bursting
The heart is bursting
It wants to go up
The legs are pushing down
To make the body rise
But there is no ground
To push against
The ribs open up
And break
Shall I go up to the right?
Or left?
Or, maybe, just
Spread myself
Into the universe?
Dust has gathered
On the surface of my sun
My sun is emanating
Light and rain.
Discern:
Let your heart
Do the choosing
Let your sense of beauty
Show you
We are one.
Like Soutine
Never fit in
Approximate
Roll colors
On your tongue
Eat the fields
Swim behind your ribs
Adjust your heart
To pleasant warm
Know that grass
Will yellow in the summer
Find the blue
Lie flat on your back
And follow the stars.
The old man
Made himself into an old tree
And sat
On an improvised chair
The old woman
Made herself to be
The leafs that shook and fell
And she was stolen by the winds
All the creatures
Of the forest’s floor
Were born
And then had gotten old
The inner eye
Saw what came and what has gone
and let the beauty of the world
Break the inner heart apart.
Things that I drew many times before, appear again in this drawing.
The drawing is dense with shapes, especially on the right half. This drawing asks for colors that will help define the shapes, the background and the background of the background. The first background is the environment. The second is eternity.
What are these things doing together? They are flowing. They come into being and they move on, leaving their place in our awareness for other things to come, with the flow of our thoughts.
When you look at details, you may find that even shapes that seem to block the flow move, together with everything else.
All the things that I love move. They are not now what they were before. Mainly, everything shows to me how everything changes. Like watching a parade, I watch my life passing by. There will always be something to watch. My thoughts will make everything more and more beautiful. The sky will turn into the infinite heart. My home will recline on the back of my cat and both will float as clouds over the land, spotted with things I have not come to know yet. The village of my youth will undulate with little waves, while a simple bug will fly away from the big pine of my youth to its own new perceptions.
Then, when you think of it, only thoughts and perceptions change.
To end, since the drawing begged for colors, I gave them to it.
First started with a face. It is on the left.
I almost decided to draw a face in a way that can be recognized. I started in this way and as I went along I answered impulses from the heart and distorted the face beyond recognition.
Then I started drawing a little house. I thought about a tree and then thought that I always go for trees, so I decided to draw something else. A house came to me. I knew it was my house, where I lived with my wife and children in Israel. Then the tree had to be there, as we did have a huge pine tree next to the house.
And I remembered the swing with my first daughter in it, swaying extremely long sways.
Then there was no place for anything else, even though I entertained the idea of going on, adding more things. But the swinging child faced the open space and this was a complete cycle. There was no need for anything else.
First was the experiencing of a twisted flow, which means that the infinite emptiness flowed through preconceived ideas (the face). Then the drawing came closer to love, by touching on the home and the tree, and indeed my first daughter. And with this closeness to the heart, the swing swayed a long way and we came back to be face to face with the endlessness.
This one drawing has a whole process of healing.
Then came the exercise: Find the spot that feels the best and dive into it with a second drawing. I chose the space that my daughter faced.
This was the motivation behind the second drawing.
The drawing shows expansion. The heart opens. The language changes from the language we usually use, like in this writing for example, into an energetic way of experiencing and communicating. You cannot satisfactorily describe this experience with any word language. But if you feel anything when you look at this drawing, it is because you too can experience things that cannot be described in one of our languages.
And what is the dot in the middle?
Maybe the feeling of being a local spot around which there is endlessness? Erase this spot and there is no time and space. And maybe the dot comes from a sense of something very far that the ‘I’ wants to reach, out of curiosity? Maybe the dot comes from the feeling that there is always more?
Then again: looking for the place in this drawing that felt the best, I chose the object at the top middle that looks somewhat like eyelashes or a line of cypresses on a far horizon.
Diving into this, I drew the group of what may look like trees that feel very good with each other, or maybe like a group of angels playing together in the sky, like babies.
Then it came to me to indicate some ground, to show that the first group was up somewhere, and as I did it, it became plants and ground and the plants look somewhat like the angels.
Now when I asked myself where is the place in this last drawing that feels the best, the answer that came to me was: The space between the ground and the angels.
So I see this space as the place that feels like home. From it emerge objects of fascination. They feel good too in another way. But once I entertain this fascination with the objects, I long again to the home space.
And maybe I should simply choose, for the best feeling place, everything. Just everything.
intuitiveflow 