Archive for the 'evolving' Category



222. Who won’t twitch their feet when they are tickled?

P1000217

Thoughts/things

Maybe it is strange, but these days nothing is more pleasant to me than sitting quietly somewhere and watching the interface with the quiet space that is always there, seeing how a few moving things in my mind calm down, feeling the body relaxing and staying there.

A person passes in the street on his bicycle and I feel this somewhere in my energy field, as if it happens there. I feel a stirring of a little, very pleasant excitement and then it goes away. I see it as if it is a thought.

The quiet space is alive. If I tune in to it, I know, thoughts like the one that is a person on a bicycle, are moving in it. There are stirrings like this in different depths. They all belong to something infinite that lives its inner life in this way, creating interest and feeling it.

I suddenly understand babies, twitching their feet when they get excited. They experience the stir in the infinite space when their wordless thoughts move. They feel as if it is a tickle. And who won’t twitch their feet when they are tickled?

 

221. The explosion

P1000215

One of us complained about a headache. It was the evening talk on a retreat. We all sat around our master. And it was way into the night. When he finished talking this friend raised his hand and complained.

Your headache is just a wandering thought, the master said.

I don’t remember what was spoken after that because this sentence hit me strongly. I would not be able to explain it, but I knew that this was true.

I also had a headache. I was exhausted from the intense concentration that I used in my meditation all through the day.

Soon after the conversation ended we meditated again. The sentence repeated itself in my head. It is true, I thought. The way my body feels is a wandering thought. And just like with every other wandering thought, I can let it go.

Then there was an explosion in my neck. The head was blown away. The throat remained torn to scraps. I saw this clearly as I was floating in the air behind myself. I was very peaceful and in wonder. There was no time.

Now I understand some of it. The pain is a result of a thought. This is clear. Everything that we experience is a result of thoughts that we believe. The experience is not always exactly as we anticipate, but it always matches our vibrational state.

My teacher and many other teachers never explained this. They prefer to leave things mysterious. Or they do not want to give us the knowledge to change our reality. They want us to transcend it.

When I started the blog I knew that the pain and the malfunctioning of the body came from thoughts. I knew that if I released the beliefs that created the malfunctioning, the fundamental belief that creates the body in its healthy state would take back the controls and the body would heal. This is the direction that I took and there is the evidence for it in the blog. But I am still with the malfunction and the pain. Many times lately I felt desperate, tired of the struggle. I wanted to give up. But I didn’t want to give up. I wanted to rest. If it would lead to the death of the body than let it be so.

My essence, the truth of who I am, cannot be harmed.

I think part of my struggle is because I do not want to lose the fight with the powers that, as I imagined, wanted to block me from developing. This struggle belongs to a non-existent figure. I can let it go now. I wrote about this kind of struggle and I can write again in another entry. The interest in finding the way to heal myself should, as I truly believe and as I teach my clients, come from curiosity, playfulness, love, peace and joy. Coming from these energies that are the natural energy of all of us, it cannot be a struggle. It can only be a joy. There should not be a difference between the true expression of who I am and healing. In other words this means that in order to heal we need to be in the energy of the truth of who we are.

So I allowed myself to enter with my boat into the river of who I am, throw the oars away and let the stream take me.

All that I wrote after the end of the healing descriptions (after #58) was about living in the downstream direction.

When the pain is great I loose sight of this sometimes and the old I appears. Maybe I can allow the pain to kill me, bend me down and break me apart? Maybe I can let the head explode and disappear. I can live without a head.

220. Let the dummy share the happiness

P1000207

It has been some time since I wrote for this blog. I was changing and needed to focus inward. I was not in the mood to share. I knew I had to get rid of fear once and for all.

During the time that I did not write, it became clear to me that I and everyone of us lives in a unique, private world. This world responds precisely to our vibrations. If we did not have a huge subconscious with many beliefs about the world and life, then everything we wanted would appear in the world that is ours. It is these hidden beliefs that create the universe that we experience. If what we want is contradicted by one of these many beliefs in the subconscious, it will not appear in our universe until we get rid of the belief that contradicts it, or the new belief becomes  more prominent.

When I discovered this more clearly than before, I also understood that nobody needs therapy. Giora,(my name,) who was supposed to live in my body does not really exist. There is a bunch of experiences that are activated by all of those hidden beliefs. One of these beliefs is that they all belong to Giora. That’s all. Just a belief. So who is playing with this body? It is the true self, an infinite consciousness, part of all that is. And just like me, everybody who was my client has a true self and there is nobody who lives in their bodies. The true self is powerful, imaginative, loving and always happy beyond measure. The same is true for everyone. So nothing is wrong with the true owners of the bodies who used to come to me for art therapy.

When I discovered this, I lost interest in therapy. Everything is okay and there is nothing to fix, I knew.

Then, within two weeks all my clients disappeared. I did not tell them to go. But my vibrations were not a match to theirs any more. They went to other countries, they got married, they got ill and went to other states.

It made me happy in some strange way, as I saw that my subconscious is already pretty clean from disturbing beliefs. And where there is no resistance to new vibrations, they manifest immediately.

I came to this relative cleanliness with the help of this method of making intuitive art and reading it. I know I’ll write about the method more in the future, so I allow myself to leave this subject alone in this entry.

The effectiveness of my method, about which I knew already, became even more convincing. It can go very far. It is sweet and wonderful. And it helps clean the subconscious. It also shows the way to live fully.

I can do many other things, I thought. I can make a living by selling art. I can write more books, I can make children’s books, which was my main occupation for many years. There are many things I can do. My new occupation will show itself. So I did not worry.

I also knew that if it will be working with people, it will be different. It won’t be about the psychology that belongs to the personality. Instead, it will be about helping people see the truth and free themselves. IN the process the personality is cleaned anyway. That’s actually what I always did and it was hidden under my practice of art therapy. But it will be different now.

Everything has changed.

And suddenly, without me doing anything, many people started connecting with me on LinkedIn. And then came a wave of new subscribers to my blog, which was asleep in its URL.

I think I know what all of this tells me. Go back, Giora. Yes, you don’t exist. It’s true. But the dummy is useful.

Let the dummy share the happiness of the real one.

And to all the newcomers: A very warm hearted welcome. I hope the blog will be useful to you. The circle of friends has grown.

219. The mirror spoke

Conflicted about direction

Which way to go?

Did a drawing this morning. This morning was a slow one. I woke up at four, drank tea with milk and stayed in bed, sitting with the backing of the couch’s pillow, and the meditation cushion supporting my head. I listened to Rupert Spira talking for a few minutes about how, after awakening, the allure of material, things, disappears. Then it was close to seven and I did everything of the mornings and ate. And here, at this table, I laid my head on my hands and rested again. It is amazing to me how tired I can be, that even after a good night sleep, which I did not have for so many years, I can be so tired still.

Now I have the new watercolor drawing in front of me and I think: Let’s see what is in it.

I can see density, as if it describes stones or packages that somehow got connected to each other in groups. Now we have a few clumps. The way the clumps relate to each other as a group of clumps, as a composition, gives a feeling of an effort. What is the effort? Maybe it is to stay together, while every one of them wants to go somewhere else. This is where the tension comes from.

There is one unfinished piece and it gives the effect of something that was left undone, unfinished. And maybe this effect creates another one, of something that happened in a haste. This whole group of clumps detached itself, or even better, tore itself away from something bigger and found itself free, but conflicted about where to go now. Now that they have freedom, what do they want to do with it?

And before, when I looked at the drawing and did not yet let the words come and tell me this story, the drawing looked like a stranger. How did it come here? What does it have to do with me?

And here we are now. The mirror spoke at last.

218. The knowledge that does not fit in the shape.

Inner sound

Hearing the sound

The knowledge that does not fit in the shape

Requires a mouth that is shut for now

The joy of expanding

Like children in a school break

Running out to the yard

Is like an eye that is open to the ocean

The face that will not be intact any more

Collapses because of an ear that hears the eternal sound

A hair that flies in the wind is left

From the static posture that breaks open.

216. The story point of view and the energy point of view

The influence of the wind.

The left and the right.

There is some discrepancy between the right side and the left side of the picture. The left is loose and hardly organized. It looks like something that is falling apart. The right is better organized, but it is losing some of its order by the pressure and movement that come from the left.

The right is filled with interesting things that try hard to hold on to their shapes. The left looks as if it used to have shapes too, but with the movement, no good form is left in it.

What does it mean?

From the point of view of the story of life, this painting may depict a traumatic and frightening event.

From energy point of view it is just the process of change. In the end of it, maybe there will appear new forms that will be better adjusted for swift movement? And it is also possible that after this movement the forms will disappear all together and there will only be a peaceful sea of energy, in which some things appear and disappear.

The forms are the story.

The sea is the ground of all.

So what do they think about the wind?

From the story point of view it is what brings a disaster.

From energy point of view it is how freedom manifests.

210.Forget about the preparations

Forget about the preparations.

The wind took everything away

There was a ladder ready to climb

There was a golden gate to open

Then the inner wind came running

Like a wild mythological animal

And took everything away with it

Come, we’re going

Forget about the preparations.

209. Traveling with my clients

I am leafing through blocks of mixed-media-paper that hold drawings and readings from between May 12th and today, May 25th.

It is amazing to find that all the drawings dealt with the same issue, and that there is a movement there. I was not aware of these as I drew and read every day. They say that if you try to heal yourself, you have a fool for a doctor. But it is not so if you use this method (and a few others). The seeing and understanding with the method are not of the ego-self. The ego-self can easily be fooled by the resisting subconscious. But when the viewing is done by a deeper state of us, deeper than thinking, this view includes the struggle and the resistance that the subconscious performs. It is this view, that makes it possible to see that the resistance is an old choice that may not be serving us any more and that we can now choose differently, if we so desire. The deeper state is a wise and loving state, because it leaves our free choice intact. It only shows us two things: what is going on in the subconscious, and how do we feel about our struggle state. Being in this deeper state that we entered through the process of drawing intuitively, we naturally tend to choose what makes us feel better. This is what guides the choice and this is what creates the movement.

I wrote about this before in this blog, in a slightly different way. I wrote that being in the viewer state we are in a happier mood than the mood of the struggle, and if we have more of the happier mood, the less happy state dissolves. That is true too and these are only different ways to speak about the same thing.

So my subconscious continues dealing with the same issue, and all the people who come to me for therapy during my focused attention on this subject, present different aspects of dealing with the same issue. If I want to help them resolve their aspects of the issue, I’ll have to resolve my aspect first (it can happen through my work with them, but not only).

This gets closer to the true meaning of therapy.

I decided to present some of the drawings and readings from these three books.

I’ll present each drawing in a separate entry, day after day, and it will take about two weeks.

<><><><><><><><><><><><>

This is the first. There were many before. This is a part of the page. I decided to start from this as it is a view from outside in a way, and later the eyes go inwards, in the later drawings.

Then tears have made a lake

An old dream

An old dream

Standing in the water

It used to be

A joyful flying machine

With a golden heart

Now it is barren

The paint is peeling

The tears have made

A lake.

Then I asked my inner guide what to do. He said: Go live in it. Take one room and one window. Grow a plant. Play music. Create. Make a huge space in your heart for me, and thrive. Do only what you love.

208. i and I

I have not written for the blog for a long time. The reason is that I constantly change. In a strange way I do not know who I am, because every time I look to see, it is someone else. Is this an exaggeration? Yes. The changes are small but enough to bewilder me. I am happy to discover something new and before I have enough time to celebrate my discovery, the next insight comes in. What do I do for this to happen? I keep improving my mood. This is all I do. Improving the mood is like going higher on the mountain of vibrations and knowing. From a slightly higher point you see more of the landscape. Knowing is not a function of learning but of going to a higher vibration, from which more is known.

We are a mystery, aren’t we? Science is admired in our society as the discipline that will bring solutions to all of our problems. Science is way ahead of what the general pubic knows, but far behind what people with access to the depth of who we are know. This is the kind of knowledge that we all need now. The solutions to our problems will come through love, joy, and more playfulness.

The true thing is playing

i and I

Flying with ease.

Undecided about what it is,

It collects some unnecessary shapes.

It is funny in this way.

But what is beautiful is that the true essence is in it too:

The innocence, the playfulness of a child, the ease of smiling,

the subtle knowing.

It is i and I together.

Or is it you and YOU?

207. Beyond thinking

The strong part and the weak part

The healthy part and the weak part

This drawing describes me exactly, as I am now. And it can show me the way to change this way that I am, into another one that I prefer, if I feel like it.

It still surprises me to see how well this method works in showing me to myself.

You can say that there are several parts in this drawing. But there is one part that is different from all the rest, so I separate the drawing now, for my purpose, into two parts: the big upper part and the smaller lower part.

The lower part includes the horizontal line in a grayish purple, two strange creatures on the left, a little anemic cloud on the right and even the lower part of both legs of what looks like a child, if you agree to see a child there, wearing green pants and having a brownish head and shoulders.

All these lower components are anemic, so to speak. They don’t have vibrant energy. I hope they will come out with the same effect in the web version of the photographed drawing.

Maybe it is possible to jump in our imagination a step or a continuity further, and to see that the healthy and vibrant bigger part is clearly the winner here, and since they are all connected, the health will spill over and change these anemic parts for the better.

And we can also think further and say that somehow, the lower parts did not get enough energy and they are failing to fulfill their part in the community of the body.

We could say so, and it would make sense, and we could then look for reasons for blocking the energy from flowing into the legs. Or since it is a degenerative disease, as the doctors say, that happens to the whole body, and only starts in the feet, maybe the lack of energy is to the parts that do things in the world, that walk on the earth and that give shape to worldly things. (The hands are the next in line.)

We could go on forever actually, because there will always be something missing from our conclusions and answers. We can never get a complete answer from dealing with the questions only through thinking. Thinking is the biggest limitation that we have as humans. I know that this is a shocking declaration and most people will oppose it. Thinking is our best instrument after all, but only as long as we do not know the bigger truth, which is, that we are not the body and even not our thoughts. We are a consciousness or whatever you want to call it, that is infinite, present in all things, everywhere, and this consciousness or beingness is creating the body and its thinking, to experience creation in a three dimensional world, and to experience being limited but eventually finding the way back to recognizing what we are. It is like sending a part of ourselves to an incredible adventure, in which that part is completely lost, but then, using clues that do not make sense at first, that part finds its way back home, into knowing who it is. That knowing does not happen through thinking. That knowing is not a logical answer to a logical question, but a state of being with wider horizons that are beyond thinking’s limits.

I think this is enough for one entry. This direction will continue in the next entry.


Awards

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 1,529 other subscribers

My Pages

The healing process

Entries 1-58 show how I use the method of Intuition Through Art to heal myself from Peripheral Neuropathy.

Archives