Posts Tagged 'endlessness'

304. An easy way into awareness

Version 2

Maybe you wonder who is this little line in the picture that I called, in entry #301, the baby with the orange light?

He represents, for me, awareness, which is always newly born. Right now it is looking at the rest of the painting in 301, where there is some struggle. But he is from endlessness, which is free from the difficulties.

Just the fact that he looks heals what he is looking at, because he looks in a way that only awareness can. He lives inside of every one of us. But we need to bring his view to our normal consciousness, so that it too will heal.

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Why drawing and painting are good ways to dip in our larger aspect, which is usually called awareness?

Other art forms are also good for this. But drawing and painting leave marks on paper or other materials that we can look at after they have been done.

This gives us the opportunity to understand (by reading the art) with our narrow style of consciousness, what our aware state has already known.

…………………………………..

Let’s look at why we are not in the deeper state all the time.

Our consciousness is made in such a way that we are very focused. We think only one thought at a time. We concentrate on only one thing at a time. For us this is the way things are, and we do not even consider a different way of experiencing.

We never see a wider picture of our experiences (unless we shift into awareness, which we actually do, spontaneously, many times).

While we live with this narrow way of observing, there is something that keeps making the choices for us about what we are going to concentrate on.

It is what we call the subconscious.

Based on our experiences of the past we have taught the subconscious what is important to us. Now it brings to our attention only those parts of the whole picture that it knows are important to us.

Of course it is a wonderful thing, not to have to examine our experiences whenever they emerge, and decide again what, among all of them, is important. On the other hand, because this is how the human mechanism works, we are prevented from experiencing a wider version of our experiences.

What is so good about the wider version?

When we observe with a wider, more inclusive perspective, we become relieved from the worries of the narrower view.

The subconscious still gives us its usual alarms that were created with the narrow view. But since we are in a more comfortable place, we don’t care about these alarms that much.

This is just one benefit. Observing with the wider view is so different from observing with the narrow view that it is really impossible to explain it while using the narrow view.

We can only talk about one aspect at a time. But awareness is a multi aspects thing.

So I’ll point at a few characteristics of awareness, but remember: It really does not do justice to it.

The wider view is the only way we can experience beauty. Beauty has to do with a complex relationship of many parts. We all can experience beauty in our unique ways. It is different for each one. But we all can experience what is beauty to us.

So it means that we all are making use of our awareness.

When we are in nature, for example, which is so filled with details and multiple kinds of relationships, the subconscious does not, usually, have any special instructions about the view.

It may have some warnings about snakes, crocodiles, bears, tick-bites, etc. But just looking, when there is no immediate specific danger, does not, usually, come with instructions.

This allows us to slip into the deeper, wider, relaxed view. We see beauty. We feel good. We become activated in a much fuller, more rewarding way.

So being in awareness feels good. Holding a narrow awareness is stressful in comparison.

When we feel good, instead of being weary of others, we love them spontaneously.

Instead of feeling pressed to fix this or that, we feel like playing. We feel like children. We laugh easily, we imagine whatever we want and we can even feel being taken care of.

All these are healing states.

So now imagine making art by following your individual sense of beauty as your only guide in the art making.

As soon as we give our attention to our sense of beauty, to watch whether what we make is beautiful for us or not, we slip into the state of awareness. There is no escape for us from using a wider attention, to perceive beauty.

This is (awareness is) the fundamental condition that is the only one that can heal our emotional and even physical suffering. There is no way to heal us without entering awareness.

So this is the instruction: Make art just by choosing, step after step, to do only what makes your art more beautiful to you. Stop when you feel that adding anything to your art will not feel beautiful any more.

Be loyal to this and see how it makes you feel.

This is an easy access to what all the meditation teachers call awareness.

I’ll end here with something that my Chinese meditation teacher said once (not precisely in these words): Keep being aware and awareness will keep you.

If you want to have one practice that is simple and will make you freer and freer, this is it. Develop the habit of awareness (in whichever way you choose to reach that state).

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168. Questions and a new beginning

Somehow I lost the drive to read art. I mean to read my art. I still read others’. I feel resistance to reading mine. Maybe the reason is that I think: Well, what is the point? It does not mean much, since I am not attached to it. There is no reason why I’ll let this past thing interfere with what I want to do now. So why bother reading it? It looks beautiful anyway. Looked at from a deeper state, all the complications look beautiful, and this is enough to see.

Where does the beauty come from?

So what can I do with these artworks?

How can I continue my blog? After I stopped being interested in the contents of my past, it has become hard to add anything to the blog.

I had some very good, high feelings, that I described, and some less good feelings, but now, what am I to do with this blog?

Maybe this is the place to go up and up in vibrations?  So this is a new beginning.

Life as a process

Life as a process

Let’s look at this last drawing now.

There are warm colors at the bottom and they gradually turn colder until it is blue, transparent and very soft. I think that the texture, in spite of the coldness of the color itself, gives some warmth, related to the sensitivity that is expressed. So it is coldness described very sensitively. Maybe aloofness? So you become very interested, being a sensitive person that you are.

There is a feeling that something is growing in the drawing. There is a wider base shape, almost like the leaves of a plant close to the earth. From this comes a stem and another stem in orange and from them some flower, leaf, or a canopy, develop. All these happen in the warmer area. Then of course, if you think of it as a plant or a flower, then you have to have the sky somewhere behind and above. But the sky is not just a flat color. Something is alive there. Shapes come out of shapes, right side and left side parts, describing something that is not so clear realistically. What is it?

A dream?  Sleeping? Something in a sleeping bag? Clouds? A letter? and what letter is it? Yes, it is the G from my own name. I did not notice this when I made the drawing. Planning.. sleeping.. this is connected to that.. life.

A plant is growing, still with the original thought of: Be a plant, be intense or mild. The intense side remains undeveloped. It sends feelers to the left side, the milder, so see what is life like on that side. Of course, here you have the fear of opening up and being yourself completely, checking yourself against another. Then, many thought patterns develop and they will create this plant’s future, its new adventure, its expansion or its remaining limited and constrained.

Is there a separation between the physical and the mental? Between the simple program to grow (It is not simple really but not complicated by thoughts of and the complicated thought patters, to do this and that etc? Yes and no. How about this answer? You can see that this part is warm and that is cold. But where they touch, they melt into each other. The physical and the imagined melt into each other. They are connected, and there is a feeling of lingering there, where they touch. Is it attachment? I mean attachment from the Buddhist perspective, as of assigning importance to something and therefore holding on to something that otherwise would have just gone on and change into something else.

This melting into each other is true also for every step before this thinking occurs. The leaf melts into the stem. The stem melts into the flowering and the flowering melts into the imagination. What kind of being is that? Who is this? What a magical creature that is a process?

And the whole scene has a magical feel to it. Things happen in the dream world, softly, silently. Are they real? Who is telling the story here? Is it the stem? The canopy? Me? You? Who are you anyway? Are you evolving from my dream? Am I nothing else but your imagination process?

I am leaving you with many questions. Who needs an answer, when you have questions like these? It all keeps being created, flowing toward what seems to be up in this case. Maybe nothing really moves? Maybe it is all a thought in endlessness, which has never changed

116. With not even a speck missed

In a dramatic night I walk barefoot at 2 AM from bed to desk to draw and write:

A scream in space

A scream in space

A scream

Is lost in endlessness

Is broken into a thousand pieces

Swirling in immaterial void

Unheard

 

And yet

Every single atom of its being

Is accepted

With utter dedication

To fully know

With not even a speck

Missed


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The healing process

Entries 1-58 show how I use the method of Intuition Through Art to heal myself from Peripheral Neuropathy.

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