Posts Tagged 'joy'



208. i and I

I have not written for the blog for a long time. The reason is that I constantly change. In a strange way I do not know who I am, because every time I look to see, it is someone else. Is this an exaggeration? Yes. The changes are small but enough to bewilder me. I am happy to discover something new and before I have enough time to celebrate my discovery, the next insight comes in. What do I do for this to happen? I keep improving my mood. This is all I do. Improving the mood is like going higher on the mountain of vibrations and knowing. From a slightly higher point you see more of the landscape. Knowing is not a function of learning but of going to a higher vibration, from which more is known.

We are a mystery, aren’t we? Science is admired in our society as the discipline that will bring solutions to all of our problems. Science is way ahead of what the general pubic knows, but far behind what people with access to the depth of who we are know. This is the kind of knowledge that we all need now. The solutions to our problems will come through love, joy, and more playfulness.

The true thing is playing

i and I

Flying with ease.

Undecided about what it is,

It collects some unnecessary shapes.

It is funny in this way.

But what is beautiful is that the true essence is in it too:

The innocence, the playfulness of a child, the ease of smiling,

the subtle knowing.

It is i and I together.

Or is it you and YOU?

202. Up or down

Up or down?

Up or down?

What do we see?

One complexity is flying up in the sky, above another complexity. Maybe the second one is the ground? Maybe it also floats in space?

Maybe the ground is floating in space?

If it does, then this goes along with what I started to experience more and more, that our reality is not so real as we think it is.

In our referential world there is a ground under everything. And if what appears above the ground is floating and does not even touch the ground, does it mean that it is floating really? Is it happy and jumping with joy?

One thing I can tell for sure is that both the ground and the thing that floats above it continue beyond the canvas to the left and to the right.

It seems in both of them that the left side is close to the end or to the beginning. There is less and less, as we approach the left side. So we can guess that if we go a little more to the left there will be the end of the shapes there.

Is this significant? Well yes. We don’t know yet how, but it is something clear.

When we look at the right side, things both in the floating part and in the ground are becoming more spacious.

This state of events leaves the middle area heavier and therefore it attracts our attention to it. We do not pay much attention to the left and the right. But I am used to looking for the bigger context, so I saw it.

The shapes in the floating part seem to be standing, dancing, running and moving. They seem to be moving to the right. That’s because everything is slightly heavier on the right side of the middle.

The shapes in the ground seem to be horizontal. They seem to be holding on to the rest of the shapes, as if trying to avoid being left behind, when everything else moves. If you look at where in this group the weight is, you realize that they even seem to be pulling to the left, back to the beginning.

Now the difference between the sides helps us understand. To the right there is the progress toward the unknown. In the left was the beginning. One group dances to the future and the other group holds on to where they are, afraid to move.

So it is like two worlds, living very close to each other. One is light and happy, and it is going to the future. The other is depressed and lonely and afraid to move. The two worlds don’t touch each other. Maybe they do not want to pay attention to each other. It is only us, the painter and the watchers of the painting, who can see this strange phenomenon.

In the upper part there are the adventurers, the ones who take risks, those who are not afraid to live life to the full.

In the lower part the figures are afraid and in distress.

Within each group the figures collaborate and are of the same three colors, red, orange and purple. So maybe this shows that basically these are of the same kind, those in the upper and the lower parts. But their experience is totally different.

Where would you choose to be?

You see? Suddenly the drawing changed. Before, maybe it was undecipherable and did not speak much to us. Now it is a challenge, pressing you to decide about your life.

It is nice and looks full of wisdom when I speak about this as if these figures represent some other people. But I drew this. Both the upper and the lower parts came from my imagination. So they represent me.

Which of the groups is me? Both.

If I give up on the upper, I’ll be only depressed and suffering. If I let go of the lower part, who knows what will happen? I may expand. I may explode. Everything is possible. We never know until we decide to be that upper part.

But for now I want to tell you that even though these two groups seem to be of different spirit, they actually belong in the same layer of understanding. They belong to where things are different, separate and competing.

So where is the wisdom here?

In the watcher. You and me. Let’s watch.

And if we let go of wanting to be either the upper or the lower parts, who are we? what do we belong to?

176. Moving fingers and toes

Microbes

Microbes

In the middle is a package

With a secret

Of unknown consequences

All other things in this picture could be microbes

With a very elaborate social order

And rules of conduct

But in spite of that

They cannot contain their joy

For just being able to move their fingers

And toes

And they keep doing it

Secretly

But since all of them are doing it

They discover each other

In new ways

And through their joyous smiles

Become one

With no beginning

And end

Enfolding endless possibilities

Of love.

173. Before I was born

I discovered a pattern in a series of drawings that I made lately. These drawings were made during a period of three days. They are not all the drawings that I made. They are just a sampling. The pattern is of a layered history. I had this pattern in many other drawings that I did before. You can see many of them here on this blog. I even noted the layers when I wrote about the drawings. But these days, suddenly something rebelled in me. It was not a rebellion with fighting and blood. It was the feeling that this is a fixed perception, something which is inflexible in a world that I find more and more to be endlessly flexible. It does not have to be this way, I thought somewhere within the wholeness of my mind. This historical understanding of life, in which first there was this and from this came that, a perception that explains the condition now, based on what past events led to it, this perception is a thought in the present.

I have seen again and again that I can choose to change my thoughts in the present. I mean, a thought that occurred already occurred, but the next thought does not have to go in the same direction. I can choose a different thrust and I have done it many times. So do I have to continue keeping the belief in this historical stratification of my life? This is what was churning in me and it was different than just noting it as I did before. I was questioning its necessity and validity now.

Just this questioning, without any effort to come to an answer or to force a conclusion, has moved things in the mind and in the last drawing you will see that the order has turned upside down. What was the order before? From troubled beginning came, through a slow development, light, health and joy.

Wild roots

Wild roots

 You can see in the drawing

that the roots are wild

And that they lead to a growth

that is more peaceful and joyful.

On a rocky ground an airy city stands

On a rocky ground an airy city stands

 In this drawing too

you can see that 

turmoil and pain are the basis

from which

a rocky landscape emerges

with a transparent city on its top.

In the last one a healthy beginning is being attacked by trouble.

Trouble

Trouble

The blue and green and yellow

are the good beginning.

The trouble is easy to see.

I can say that I did not create this shift willingly. It is the awareness and wondering that weakened the old perception. Awareness and wondering made the shift possible. But the shift happened without the willful “I” of every day. Something deeper has done the work here. My intuition, or the infinite inner love, has come into the personality and moved my focus one step backward. Instead of looking at my history, looking back from now, and seeing how I came from a troubled beginning to a good state, the last drawing shows instead how I was before the trouble came into my life and how the trouble came.

From this I learn that the idea of layering is OK but it has to have three layers. The first is the innocent, fresh, joyful beginning. Then trouble comes and makes war with this beginning, and eventually things change again for the better and happier state.

I could see other things in the drawings and especially in the last one, just as you can. But this is what came to me.

Why is this meaningful?

Every change in my history was a choice. I chose to come into this world and get into trouble. Then I chose again to change the patterns of troubled living into joyful living.  But without seeing myself from before the troubles began, I only see myself as one who started from trouble, and because of this, there is always a sense that the troubled state is my natural state. It is where I come from. Something was wrong with me, right from the beginning. It is hard to get rid of this feeling that right from the beginning something was wrong with me. So even if I managed to change patterns of thought into more joyful ones, there is still somewhere in me the belief that something is wrong with me. Because of this, I don’t have the necessary energy to move to happiness. The joy that I want to experience requires some work that has to be done, to overcome this nagging feeling of worthlessness. But if I manage to go farther into the past than this life and see the way I was before I came here, I get to experience the joy in myself in the true, natural state, and this gives me the necessary energy to choose happiness. You have to choose your happiness.

I have seen it with others in my work. Especially I have seen it with those who were born into loveless families with mental illnesses, anger and neglect. No matter how much we tried to understand how these environments contributed to the current suffering, the understanding was not strong enough to make a change. My clients still felt worthless. But when we came together to the time before they were born, they saw that  they really were joyful in the beginning and understood that they had made the choice to suffer. This, somehow, leads quite easily and without a conscious effort, to choosing again and this time the choice is to be happy. The most important part of the transformation is the experience of the joy that we really are. And in this way, with surprising ease, people change their lives.

As for me, I find that many times I start new things with my clients. Wanting to help them find the power to change, I discover that we need to go deeper than we went before and come to the point where they can experience how joyful they were before the choice to suffer was made. Once they come back to the point of choice, they choose to change without any effort. And now I find that I am going through the same process.

Thank you, my clients. You are so good in being a mirror for me.

 

169. An inner conflict

An inner conflict

An inner conflict

Obviously there is in this drawing something that grows. And also there is a relationship. The relationship is between two groups. The green and brown is one group and the yellow and ochre is the second group.

The yellow and the ochre are free from attachment to the ground. They are transparent and interpenetrating with everything else. They are light and there is a feeling about them of playfulness and curiosity.

It seems there is love between the two groups, a lot of love.

But it also seems that the green/brown group has some inner conflict.

The brown is stiffened. It almost does not have any flexibility. The green is very flexible, soft and responsive. Both of them, the green and the brown are attached to the ground.

While the brown is stiff and cannot move, the green is extending its arms to the right side, to embrace the yellow and ochre group, but at the same time it leans backward to the left. So you can see the inner conflict. And it is funny, you see? With such loving creatures coming to you with playfulness and joy, what is there to shrink from?

I am not going to go into more detail. It is up to you now, if you want to expand on this, for your own delight.

167. Child like curiosity

 

Hard to move?

Hard to move?

With the roots pressed down

It is hard to flow

But here is a little secret

If you are interested

There is one little thing that will change everything

All will be taken by surprise

Hold with joy the knowledge

That you are opening up

No rush

Even if something got stuck on the road

Your child-like curiosity

Will take you all the way.

162. His eternal joy

 

The ongoing creation of the world

The ongoing creation of the world

Today is the birthday of Giora

And even though he was never born

He is saying thanks

For this amazing event

That led to the ongoing creation

Of his world

Which is beautiful beyond description

And led to his involvement with the truth of love

With the wondrous path to be back in alignment

With the truth

With his home

With his beloved

His enthusiasm

And his eternal joy.

156. One poem with three names

1. The Green

2. The Habits and the Flow

3. The Human Condition 

The reds go to the green

The reds go to the green

But he is overwhelmed and afloat

The river flows rigorously by him

And everywhere else

He remembers the river from a dream

 

The browns are curious, supportive and showing the way

Just as the lines of his drawings are

And the Green welcomes them

 

There are golden drops all over the place

I told you he is overwhelmed

I did not tell you it is joy

 

The reds are riding in dutifully

Hoping they are in the right direction

Reminding of biblical tribes of nomads

Who always go to where the green goes. 

A few notes: 

The nomads who follow the green are the subconscious habits that we have. Of course I did not think this when I wrote the poem. You try to escape them by changing your life and there they are with you again.

This is a description of my life at the moment. Of course I did not think so when I wrote it. The lines help me a lot to see clearly.

The joy is all over the place, in the curiosity, in the creativity, in the love, in the beauty, in itself.

The poem has power because it speaks in pre-language. You put words to it but it is the pre-language that speaks.

The river was seen sharply and clearly in a deep state, showing me that the flow of real life is always right here with us, strong and eternal.

Why is the green the hero?

About satisfaction: 

When beauty is created through you there is satisfaction.

It is the beauty that came through, that puts you in wonder, provoking deep appreciation and thankfulness, that you can also call satisfaction.

You feel you did something that is meaningful. You expanded, surprisingly. You have more love now. This is satisfaction.

Do you need anything? No. Thanks. Everything is OK.

132. Not seeking any more

Joy is a dance

Joy is a dance

When the whispering pain

Is like burning

The dead leaves want to show you the way

But joy

In spite of fear

Is a dance

The flower of sadness

Is part

Of the tapestry of life

And like joy

It is busy holding hands

With truth.

Not seeking any more

For better air or light.

118. Full of curious life force

I am going through changes and for some time I felt as if I was floating in space in some way, not feeling like doing anything, because it was not clear to me why to act at all. A whole old paradigm, so to speak, became obsolete and the new paradigm is unfolding still.

I did a lot of drawings during this process and won’t be able to show them all to you. I never was able to sow all that I was doing. I try to show the important ones. Some of the work included pretty intense release of old programs from the subconscious. Thinking about what I intended to do, I found myself afraid one day and started to draw, which lead me to feel wanting to grow but escaping, then there was a big self cancellation, then an experience of shock, then anger and more anger, and eventually good feeling. This was done in twelve drawings and quick writing, in one evening and the morning that came after it.

Then there was a shorter, four pictures version of the same thing, as it repeated itself like an echo.

Then these two:

For the first, five short poems came, instead of a single long one.

Curious

Curious

As they are looking for something they forgot

They are making a tapestry

Of happy swimming.

Tickling each other pleasantly

Telling each other they cannot find their goal

They are full of curious life force.

Laughing

Sliding bodies

With open eyes.

Filling up the space

Many fish are

Swimming nowhere

To the sun they come

From the depths

Of darkness.

Looking at the drawing now I feel I did not express something about the quality of the lines in the lower part. They seem to be rotting. There is a Zen book called Swampland Flowers, which is a collection of letters written by master Ta Hui to a student, about how to practice in everyday life. The name means to hint at the idea that the lotus flower, which represents enlightenment, cannot grow in the clean fresh air of the mountains. It has to grow in the swamps of the valleys, where it is hot, humid and dirty.

I see in it all the joy that arises from all of my self-work and the peace I feel about pleasant, light hearted touching.

The next drawing is from two days later.

Touching lightly

Touching lightly

Standing one behind the other

Curious and interested in experiencing

The parts that were banned

And what a blessing it is

There are many ways of saying no

But the yes is one

And always there, inside of all of them

As it is

Forever true.

Looking at the two drawings and words you can see how things work themselves quietly in the subconscious. The constant exposure to the flow of intuition, or maybe I can call it the flow of truth, gradually dissolves everything that is not true and leaves what is true untouched, as it can never be taken away. It was a surprise for me when this happened, because I did not work on it knowingly. This too shows something about the method of intuitive flow. You just do the work, following what comes up and there is a wise order of what is being tackled, happening on its own, guided by deeper knowledge. We could not arrive at this wise order through thinking and analyzing. Life, as it turns out, is much easier than your think.

I remember working with a person who came to me to get rid of his depression. We worked on whatever showed up. Sometimes it was possible to see that it was related to the depression, and sometimes it was other things. Dealing with all that just floated up to our knowledge, one thing after another, one day there was no depression there any more. And this is for life, as all the mental software that created the depression, all that tapestry of many small issues, dissolved and was not there any more.


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Entries 1-58 show how I use the method of Intuition Through Art to heal myself from Peripheral Neuropathy.

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