Posts Tagged 'intuitive'

274. Feeling good is the main thing anyway

This is a very long one, to compensate for the long time between entries.

Yesterday (I wrote this on 9/7/2017) I started a big series, as I figured it would be, of little drawings, quick, spontaneous, intuitive, as connections, asking and getting answers, discovering subconscious conflicts and fears and releasing them, using whatever will work best, and not leaving the process until I am without fear.

This drawing was the first.

Busy but open

I won’t describe the process. I can say it was directed from my better place. I was determined to go back to not planning, even in the most free and general terms. I wanted there to only be what comes intuitively. No preparing an area to be painted and then painting it, as I did a lot lately.

I took verbal notice of things in the art that I saw. Just flew through the painting and wrote the words that came to me as I was looking at different parts or groups of parts. It is quite easy to figure out the parts that the lines of words came from. You will see.

Then I scrambled all the sentences, as in the old days, added words and sentences to make it work as a piece that makes sense verbally, added two lines in the end, and turned the first line into the name of the piece.

As these additional words came to me, to explain meanings and connect the parts, the arranging mechanism of my mind started to form meanings.

When we are in a deep good place we usually don’t look for meanings. But sometimes, new knowledge appears for us. We suddenly know something about how things are, that we did not know before. Here it is different. I flowed with the verbal investigation to where my heart took me by the hand, so to speak. The heart wants to take the mind with it, if you have the tendency to do it.

Now, before I started drawing, I asked all my acquaintances from the nonphysical to help me find where I am, and how to proceed. I felt quite lost, did not know what to do with this mock life that I created, in the world that I created. Everything has lost its allure for me, from the knowing that it is not the real. I wanted to know the real. And I also lamented the loss of what seemed to be a beautiful life, imperfect indeed, but meaningful, depending indeed on the world and I being somewhat real.

I knew that there is a more real me, more beautiful, and it is what comes from a deeper perspective. I knew that this life, with everything in it is an illusion, but still I felt there were people who could use help in finding their truth, in finding their way to be happier. This idealism was lost, as I understood that all that appears to me is invited by me, in search of knowing myself in a deeper way, or it may be in search of anything that I chose to invite and investigate.

Anyway, this meaningfulness was gone.

So everything I had an idea about starting to do, I immediately had the idea of stopping, as it made no sense to do anything.

It did not feel good to be like this. There were things that my life could be better with, practically speaking and I could busy myself with them. But this is not all.

I lived with meaning all my life. I thought that it was possible and necessary to have meaning if I wanted to be content. I wanted to find my way into it again. This was a habitual thinking indeed.

There is the teaching of the truth that I felt I wanted to do. But I saw myself at that moment unfit, as I have not lived in the knowing of it all the time. I still experienced fear, freezing fear.

So I asked all of them to help. Come through the drawing, I asked, and let me know where I am, and what to do next.

So here is what came in the words and sentences at first.

# Landscape view

# Unexpected turns

# Trees fly up slowly

# Blue stars like precious stones

# Energy jumps all around

# Arranging

# There is something in the next area, sending thin feelers in to where we are

# It is busy here but a lot of sky is open.

Now I scrambled all the words and sentences in my favorite way and wrote it all in the new order, with a few additions that came to me in the process, to connect some parts logically and to give meaning.

The meaning, in a strange way, is a choice, as I am the one who invites this meaning. But it is also what is received through the connection (with the non-physical). This whole process is a connection. And you can have a sense of the absurd. It looks very compellingly that something happens, but really nothing happens. I think I’ll need to talk about this some other time.

Here is the final arrangement:


It is busy here

But a lot of sky

Is open

The trees fly up slowly

To discover the landscape view

With many unexpected turns

There is something in the next area

Sending thin feelers in

To where we are

What is it that they are looking for?

Is it the blue stars

That are

Like precious stones?

Yellow energy, faster than everything here,

Jumps all around

To define something new

That we do not know yet.

Now I took small portions of the writing that seemed to have one specific meaning in them that had to do with me and my life, and wrote this meaning, as it came to me. I still did not know what would show up. It was just intuition after intuition and more intuition. Intuition is not thinking, so we don’t have meaning yet.

I know that philosophy deals with intuition in its ways. But this is not the intuition that I write about here, as far as I know. I’ll have to write about this too in another entry.

Here are these specific meanings:

Busy with open sky– My mind. The forces of habits moving. Awareness sees a lot of space.

The trees that fly up slowly– Like me, venturing into the bigger me.

The landscape view with the unexpected turns– Change, when you look down from above, is waiting to happen.

Something with feelers– My friends in the nonphysical, always expecting preparedness, illuminating me with knowledge, when I ask for it.

Blue stars, like precious stones– Memories of the truth, spots of love and openness, connection moments.

The yellow energy, getting ready. It is the energy that does the ’how’, when I choose the ‘what’.

Definition of something new that we do not know yet– Everyone and everything getting ready for the change.

So I see, as I’ve seen several times before, that every time I turn to my friends in the nonphysical, or even just ask intuition, or just ask nobody in particular, the first answer I get is that things are so much better than I think.

That it will be okay if I take care of feeling good. They did not say this but I know they would have said, had there been a need for it.

Feeling good is the main thing anyway.


Maybe this is a stranger entry than the usual? Please comment and I’ll answer to the best of my ability.


174. Opening Intuitive Flow Through Artwork

The cover of my book

The cover of my book

Here is my book.

Every moment of creating it was a blessing to me.

Years of writing, arranging, creating descriptions of individual sessions, showing them to friends, presenting some in conferences, continuously developing my approach that you have glimpsed here on this blog, fashioning the approach to be more clear and simple, using it with people and on myself all the time, teaching it to other therapists, all these went into the book.

And because it all depended on my innate sense of beauty, it was always pleasant.

Then the book was shaped, edited thoroughly, designed very beautifully and published just this weekend.

At times it was hard to wait.

But here it is.

There are two versions, Paperback and Kindle.

The paper book has 172 full color pages, 82 color plates, several session descriptions with pictures and dialogue, a large section about the importance of intuition in everyone’s life, explained with pictures and text. Indeed it also has the teaching of how to make an intuitive painting and how to read it.

The Kindle version is free for five days, from Wednesday, Jan. 29 to Sunday, Feb. 2nd. It is in color too. (Amazon has free Kindle apps for every smart phone, tablet and computer.)

I’ll be thankful for any review in Amazon or elsewhere.



118. Full of curious life force

I am going through changes and for some time I felt as if I was floating in space in some way, not feeling like doing anything, because it was not clear to me why to act at all. A whole old paradigm, so to speak, became obsolete and the new paradigm is unfolding still.

I did a lot of drawings during this process and won’t be able to show them all to you. I never was able to sow all that I was doing. I try to show the important ones. Some of the work included pretty intense release of old programs from the subconscious. Thinking about what I intended to do, I found myself afraid one day and started to draw, which lead me to feel wanting to grow but escaping, then there was a big self cancellation, then an experience of shock, then anger and more anger, and eventually good feeling. This was done in twelve drawings and quick writing, in one evening and the morning that came after it.

Then there was a shorter, four pictures version of the same thing, as it repeated itself like an echo.

Then these two:

For the first, five short poems came, instead of a single long one.



As they are looking for something they forgot

They are making a tapestry

Of happy swimming.

Tickling each other pleasantly

Telling each other they cannot find their goal

They are full of curious life force.


Sliding bodies

With open eyes.

Filling up the space

Many fish are

Swimming nowhere

To the sun they come

From the depths

Of darkness.

Looking at the drawing now I feel I did not express something about the quality of the lines in the lower part. They seem to be rotting. There is a Zen book called Swampland Flowers, which is a collection of letters written by master Ta Hui to a student, about how to practice in everyday life. The name means to hint at the idea that the lotus flower, which represents enlightenment, cannot grow in the clean fresh air of the mountains. It has to grow in the swamps of the valleys, where it is hot, humid and dirty.

I see in it all the joy that arises from all of my self-work and the peace I feel about pleasant, light hearted touching.

The next drawing is from two days later.

Touching lightly

Touching lightly

Standing one behind the other

Curious and interested in experiencing

The parts that were banned

And what a blessing it is

There are many ways of saying no

But the yes is one

And always there, inside of all of them

As it is

Forever true.

Looking at the two drawings and words you can see how things work themselves quietly in the subconscious. The constant exposure to the flow of intuition, or maybe I can call it the flow of truth, gradually dissolves everything that is not true and leaves what is true untouched, as it can never be taken away. It was a surprise for me when this happened, because I did not work on it knowingly. This too shows something about the method of intuitive flow. You just do the work, following what comes up and there is a wise order of what is being tackled, happening on its own, guided by deeper knowledge. We could not arrive at this wise order through thinking and analyzing. Life, as it turns out, is much easier than your think.

I remember working with a person who came to me to get rid of his depression. We worked on whatever showed up. Sometimes it was possible to see that it was related to the depression, and sometimes it was other things. Dealing with all that just floated up to our knowledge, one thing after another, one day there was no depression there any more. And this is for life, as all the mental software that created the depression, all that tapestry of many small issues, dissolved and was not there any more.

99.The awakening of curiosity

Twice this night I came to this table, made drawings and went in with words. The nerves are now closer to the surface and burn all the time. Sometimes I can take it and sometimes I can’t. But even when I can’t, I take, because there is nothing that can be done. The salves that I have and used to help a little don’t affect the pain more than in an insignificant way. So I almost fall asleep, because I am so tired after many nights like this, and wake up with a peak of pain that I cannot take.

In most cases I find something that I can do in a meditative way, to calm the body down at least. Then I fall asleep. But this night it was hard, as it has been for a few weeks now. Maybe it is the tiredness that makes it hard. I try to think a thought that will make me feel better and imagine something that makes me feel good, but I am very tired and start to be upset. What is going on, I want to know? So many times I thought that the end has come already, and yet the pain just increases. When will it end?

Yesterday I had a hint that I have to be patient. We have a pot with daffodils that we got as a present in Christmas. Until yesterday there was no sign of growth. There are five of them in the pot and all had a short, one inch, thick, green shoot coming out of the bulb. This did not change for almost three months. Every morning I gave them a little bit of water. Yesterday morning I watered them again. They still looked the same. I gave up on them. I saw other daffodils growing already in other places. In the afternoon I saw them again and one of them had grown that green shoot by two inches between morning and afternoon. And I thought: I can take this as a hint that I have to be patient. It seems that the breakthrough has not happened for me yet, but it will, when something will be right, as it was for that daffodil.

In both drawings, when I went in with words, the text just came as it is, without any scrambling or manipulation. I added a couple of connecting words to the first text and erased two words in the second.

The hot wind blew

The hot wind blew


The hot wind blew everything away

All became dust

In the air

Yes, there was an emotion there

That the wind blew

With pieces of the green of the earth

A few specks of soil

The oceans

And the melancholy moans.

 I officially declare and acknowledge

That this is what


Something happens in the sky

Something happens in the sky

Something beautiful

And terrible

Happens in the sky

All the words that I have

Will do nothing with this

I have no words

I am wounded

I am denied normal life

And understanding

It is beyond me

Do things fall apart

Or come together?

I do not know.

I still don’t know what is going on, but something does happen and I feel a little better after doing the process, maybe because my curiosity has been triggered.

And here, in these last words hides one of the secrets of healing. We think that in order for a healing to be, the pain or any other manifestation has to change. But the real healing is never in that change. Rather, the change is a result of the awakening of the true self. The awakening of curiosity is the healing here.


Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 321 other followers

My Pages

The healing process

Entries 1-58 show how I use the method of Intuition Through Art to heal myself from Peripheral Neuropathy.