Posts Tagged 'energy'



127. The energies in the body and the thoughts that move them

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The intention was to paint the inside of all the shapes in the drawing, And to come out with the colors at the top of the shapes. First let me do the way that each color comes out and up a little bit from its designated area, I said to myself. These are the tricky areas. So let me do them first. But when I finished, it looked good to me just as it was. The strong contrast between the lines inside of the big areas (where the olive green lines are, where the other green lines are, where the red lines are, where the darker red areas are and where the blue lines are) and the white, gave these areas a lot of energy, and together with the way the lines curled and bent, as if they were in the middle of doing something, there was so much life inside if the shapes. I liked it and did not want to change.

So what do I get from this?

For me it feels like the energy of life inside of my body, about to explode. No. Not to explode, but to do something big, to do something loving and beautiful.

I looked at the drawing a day later and I still liked it. So it was time to sign.

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Everything is born out of thought.

My hand is the result of a thought. This is how it started and this is how it is being created again and again every very short time, like the way a movie is being created from some thirty pictures every second, that when shown continuously, look like something that moves naturally.

The thought that creates my hand has become a habit that is activated regularly. Based on another thought, which is the story of my life, images are chosen to create motion that will fit with the story of my life. I don’t know how all of this works, with all the details. If you want to understand it from the perspective of a human being, which is what we are of course, you will have many questions. And after they will be answered there will be so much more questions. The amount of details is beyond measure. We are dealing here with infinity, using our finite mind.

Whatever happened to my feet continues to happen so many times every minute. The minutes that have passed have gone out of my reach. Some people, who have the talent to see through the big consciousness of all of us, may visit these moments and see the process happening again. I think all of us can have (less controllable) access to past events in dreams, and in inner visions, connected to memories.

The habits of thoughts that keep creating the nerve damage and the resulting pain in my feet, started some 70 years ago. Do you think I need to visit that time in order to correct my thoughts and with the change of thought, the disease activity will stop?

But you see, the thoughts and the behavior of my energy, that creates this condition, are not those of seventy years ago. They happen right now, so many times every second. So it is enough to deal with what is here now.

There is still a lot to explore. But I’ll stop here. This is enough for one entry.

 

224.What really happens when we do not pay attention?

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In the foreground there is a gate and above it is the agitated activity of the lines that look like branches of a tree. When we come to the blue lines in the upper part, the character of the lines changes and becomes more like the movements of playing, wondering and inventing. See that?

The gate is closed, and some parts of it are broken, its color is light and there is no fence or a wall that the gate can open or close. It is only an idea that we cannot go in. In truth we can.

If we go in, we find strange, mysterious shapes that play together. They are trying to frighten us, maybe, but chuckle at the same time.

Both in the front parts and in the back parts, as we go up, we find more openness, more freedom and a suggestion of an infinite space.

In the front we have the more shallow aspects of life, the drama, the nervousness, the ideas of restriction. In the deeper part we find playfulness, joy and an interface with the endless.

Who is the protagonist in the picture?

Who invents the stories the dramas and the restrictions?

Who enjoys the game of the shapes inside?

222. Who won’t twitch their feet when they are tickled?

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Thoughts/things

Maybe it is strange, but these days nothing is more pleasant to me than sitting quietly somewhere and watching the interface with the quiet space that is always there, seeing how a few moving things in my mind calm down, feeling the body relaxing and staying there.

A person passes in the street on his bicycle and I feel this somewhere in my energy field, as if it happens there. I feel a stirring of a little, very pleasant excitement and then it goes away. I see it as if it is a thought.

The quiet space is alive. If I tune in to it, I know, thoughts like the one that is a person on a bicycle, are moving in it. There are stirrings like this in different depths. They all belong to something infinite that lives its inner life in this way, creating interest and feeling it.

I suddenly understand babies, twitching their feet when they get excited. They experience the stir in the infinite space when their wordless thoughts move. They feel as if it is a tickle. And who won’t twitch their feet when they are tickled?

 

221. The explosion

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One of us complained about a headache. It was the evening talk on a retreat. We all sat around our master. And it was way into the night. When he finished talking this friend raised his hand and complained.

Your headache is just a wandering thought, the master said.

I don’t remember what was spoken after that because this sentence hit me strongly. I would not be able to explain it, but I knew that this was true.

I also had a headache. I was exhausted from the intense concentration that I used in my meditation all through the day.

Soon after the conversation ended we meditated again. The sentence repeated itself in my head. It is true, I thought. The way my body feels is a wandering thought. And just like with every other wandering thought, I can let it go.

Then there was an explosion in my neck. The head was blown away. The throat remained torn to scraps. I saw this clearly as I was floating in the air behind myself. I was very peaceful and in wonder. There was no time.

Now I understand some of it. The pain is a result of a thought. This is clear. Everything that we experience is a result of thoughts that we believe. The experience is not always exactly as we anticipate, but it always matches our vibrational state.

My teacher and many other teachers never explained this. They prefer to leave things mysterious. Or they do not want to give us the knowledge to change our reality. They want us to transcend it.

When I started the blog I knew that the pain and the malfunctioning of the body came from thoughts. I knew that if I released the beliefs that created the malfunctioning, the fundamental belief that creates the body in its healthy state would take back the controls and the body would heal. This is the direction that I took and there is the evidence for it in the blog. But I am still with the malfunction and the pain. Many times lately I felt desperate, tired of the struggle. I wanted to give up. But I didn’t want to give up. I wanted to rest. If it would lead to the death of the body than let it be so.

My essence, the truth of who I am, cannot be harmed.

I think part of my struggle is because I do not want to lose the fight with the powers that, as I imagined, wanted to block me from developing. This struggle belongs to a non-existent figure. I can let it go now. I wrote about this kind of struggle and I can write again in another entry. The interest in finding the way to heal myself should, as I truly believe and as I teach my clients, come from curiosity, playfulness, love, peace and joy. Coming from these energies that are the natural energy of all of us, it cannot be a struggle. It can only be a joy. There should not be a difference between the true expression of who I am and healing. In other words this means that in order to heal we need to be in the energy of the truth of who we are.

So I allowed myself to enter with my boat into the river of who I am, throw the oars away and let the stream take me.

All that I wrote after the end of the healing descriptions (after #58) was about living in the downstream direction.

When the pain is great I loose sight of this sometimes and the old I appears. Maybe I can allow the pain to kill me, bend me down and break me apart? Maybe I can let the head explode and disappear. I can live without a head.

216. The story point of view and the energy point of view

The influence of the wind.

The left and the right.

There is some discrepancy between the right side and the left side of the picture. The left is loose and hardly organized. It looks like something that is falling apart. The right is better organized, but it is losing some of its order by the pressure and movement that come from the left.

The right is filled with interesting things that try hard to hold on to their shapes. The left looks as if it used to have shapes too, but with the movement, no good form is left in it.

What does it mean?

From the point of view of the story of life, this painting may depict a traumatic and frightening event.

From energy point of view it is just the process of change. In the end of it, maybe there will appear new forms that will be better adjusted for swift movement? And it is also possible that after this movement the forms will disappear all together and there will only be a peaceful sea of energy, in which some things appear and disappear.

The forms are the story.

The sea is the ground of all.

So what do they think about the wind?

From the story point of view it is what brings a disaster.

From energy point of view it is how freedom manifests.

211. Colorful in a gray way

Sadness, the origin of this sadness and its cleansing.

Variations on stagnation and release

This drawing (The one at the top) is full of people. All of them are suffering. Their hard lives left marks on them. They are thinking all the time, remembering the harsh, the longed-for, the yearnings. They are colorful in a grey way. Each of them is a story of unchanging, of stagnating, of holding on and not letting go.

Who are they?

Why did they come to visit me this night?

What shall I do with them?

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In the second drawing a woman who is also a girl appears, with a few house items. One of them is a baby’s play pan or bed. I know how we think, especially if we are therapists: There is something here about early childhood trauma, something about unhappy relationship between the baby and his mother. I don’t get excited any more by these story hints. The story is not so important as the release of its energy. Having done the drawing and having seen what is in it is enough for some releasing to have happened already.

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In the next morning I look at the page and feel that the page wants another drawing down there. In this drawing strange creatures come out from a pipe or a cylindrical container and run away. They look like bad energy. The container they have escaped from is left transparent and empty. (There is no bad energy, folks. We consider bad if it is against what we want.)

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Having not read the second drawing, does it mean that we do not really need the reading? Well yes. When we make art intuitively, the mere fact that intuition, which is a happy and flowing state, is the viewer of the unhappy beliefs, releases these beliefs (At least partially). There is an advantage to the reading though. The reading makes clear what happens in the subconscious. And when the reading shows that something was released, it is very convincing to the person whose process it is. Knowing that it has happened, that person will start to expect to be free of that belief, and this expectation creates his life to be without that hindering belief. But for me, who has done this process so many times, there is already the knowledge that a release has occurred. So I can do a shorter process. But in many cases I am still fascinated by the readings and continue to do them. They always bring more from the subconscious than what comes without them. This works specifically well if the reading is done intuitively too.

207. Beyond thinking

The strong part and the weak part

The healthy part and the weak part

This drawing describes me exactly, as I am now. And it can show me the way to change this way that I am, into another one that I prefer, if I feel like it.

It still surprises me to see how well this method works in showing me to myself.

You can say that there are several parts in this drawing. But there is one part that is different from all the rest, so I separate the drawing now, for my purpose, into two parts: the big upper part and the smaller lower part.

The lower part includes the horizontal line in a grayish purple, two strange creatures on the left, a little anemic cloud on the right and even the lower part of both legs of what looks like a child, if you agree to see a child there, wearing green pants and having a brownish head and shoulders.

All these lower components are anemic, so to speak. They don’t have vibrant energy. I hope they will come out with the same effect in the web version of the photographed drawing.

Maybe it is possible to jump in our imagination a step or a continuity further, and to see that the healthy and vibrant bigger part is clearly the winner here, and since they are all connected, the health will spill over and change these anemic parts for the better.

And we can also think further and say that somehow, the lower parts did not get enough energy and they are failing to fulfill their part in the community of the body.

We could say so, and it would make sense, and we could then look for reasons for blocking the energy from flowing into the legs. Or since it is a degenerative disease, as the doctors say, that happens to the whole body, and only starts in the feet, maybe the lack of energy is to the parts that do things in the world, that walk on the earth and that give shape to worldly things. (The hands are the next in line.)

We could go on forever actually, because there will always be something missing from our conclusions and answers. We can never get a complete answer from dealing with the questions only through thinking. Thinking is the biggest limitation that we have as humans. I know that this is a shocking declaration and most people will oppose it. Thinking is our best instrument after all, but only as long as we do not know the bigger truth, which is, that we are not the body and even not our thoughts. We are a consciousness or whatever you want to call it, that is infinite, present in all things, everywhere, and this consciousness or beingness is creating the body and its thinking, to experience creation in a three dimensional world, and to experience being limited but eventually finding the way back to recognizing what we are. It is like sending a part of ourselves to an incredible adventure, in which that part is completely lost, but then, using clues that do not make sense at first, that part finds its way back home, into knowing who it is. That knowing does not happen through thinking. That knowing is not a logical answer to a logical question, but a state of being with wider horizons that are beyond thinking’s limits.

I think this is enough for one entry. This direction will continue in the next entry.


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The healing process

Entries 1-58 show how I use the method of Intuition Through Art to heal myself from Peripheral Neuropathy.

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